HeyJaredPJ Taylor
- Indexed articles, last 90 days
- 5
- Latest publication
- Sep 26, 2026
- Outlet visibility, for The Beaverton
- Top 5M sites
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 28, 2026
Latest articles
David Eby losing election to TBD (opens the original)
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VICTORIA, BC – After capitalizing on the disarray of the opposition Conservative party and calling a snap election, David Eby finds himself trailing in the polls to a leader to be determined at a later date. “I figured it was a slam dunk,” said a baffled Premier Eby. “The Conservative party was fractured and fighting with itself, rebel members started a new party, and the leader just resigned. How could I lose?” After a reflective pause Eby continued: “Apparently, this is how.” After decades of
Trump threatens to inflict as much economic damage on Iran as he has on America (opens the original)
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – After six months of military humiliation in his war with Iran Donald Trump has declared a new plan to damage the Iranian economy as viciously as he has the American economy. “For 47 years no president had the guts to do what I did,” proclaimed Trump. “We’ve achieved every goal except for all of them, and now I’m announcing that I will defeat Iran by doing what I do best: Destroying economic prosperity.” “I have proven over and over in my life how good I am at destroying things
Trump threatens to inflict as much economic damage on Iran as he has on America (opens the original)
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WASHINGTON, D.C. – After six months of military humiliation in his war with Iran Donald Trump has declared a new plan to damage the Iranian economy as viciously as he has the American economy. “For 47 years no president had the guts to do what I did,” proclaimed Trump. “We’ve achieved every goal except for all of them, and now I’m announcing that I will defeat Iran by doing what I do best: Destroying economic prosperity.” “I have proven over and over in my life how good I am at destroying things
Zuckerberg did not hear boat’s distress call because he had conversation muted (opens the original)
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ALASKA – Despite his super yacht being the nearest vessel to a small boat in trouble, Mark Zuckerberg revealed the simple reason he did not respond to the distress call was that he had muted the conversation. “Yeah, so, um,” said the multi-billionaire who made his fortune by exploiting your personal information, “We were having a really great afternoon doing things mere mortals only dream about, when kept getting these messages over and over. They said things like: ‘Help! We’re in trouble! Help
Tech CEOs warn Chinese AI could destroy the world faster than American AI can (opens the original)
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SILICON VALLEY – American Tech CEOs issued a chilling warning that Chinese AI models have the potential to destroy the world more quickly and more cheaply than their American counterparts. The CEOs took time out from calculating how many developers, designers, and artists they could render homeless in the next five years to issue a joint statement demanding that American companies be blocked from using Chinese AIs because they pose a risk to the security of their various apocalyptic forecasts. “
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