HeyJaredPat Beall
- Indexed articles, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 27, 2026
- Outlet visibility, for Orlando Sentinel
- Top 100K sites
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 12, 2026
Latest articles
Commentary: The press calls are coming from inside the White House | Pat Beall (opens the original)
Read excerpt
I come not to praise the Whiners, but to bury them, in adjectives. The thumb-suckers and the pity-pot peeps; the blubber babies, the whingemeisters, the quivering upper-lippers, the teeth gnashers, the eternally aggrieved, the wounded beyond all words for all time until the heat death of all quantum-physics-possible universes. The leader of the free world is so scared of his own shadow he had to bar reporters from Politico, MS NOW and CNN just in case they said mean things or hard things or mayb
Commentary: All this bad math adds up to stupidity | Pat Beall (opens the original)
Read excerpt
American lawmakers never sat at a scarred school desk under the steely gaze of Mrs. Doiron, a harsh mistress of math and the terror of fifth-graders in Alexandria, Louisiana. Adding and subtracting was your only way out. Not our Big Spenders, though. They have shunned integers for Secret Math, Magic Math, Barely Legal Math even I-Can’t-Believe-They-Did-That-Math. And it goes way beyond President Trump’s $5,000 election year payola. Just look at the Big Floppy Clown Shoes Math at RFK Jr.’s Depart
Commentary: Florida, are you ready for flying cars? | Pat Beall (opens the original)
Read excerpt
What, one wonders, is the appropriate response to someone who bursts into the room waving $197 million of other people’s money and declares job one is making sure your flying car has a place to land? Gently pry the cash from their tightly clutched hand? Trick question! This is Florida, where hallucinogens are not required for flights of fancy. A year or two in Tallahassee will do the trick. “The Florida Department of Transportation will not waste taxpayer dollars and spend it on everyday passeng
Commentary: Food for thought in an indigestible summer | Pat Beall (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Neighbors scoffed when I threw lettuce on the grill, but high heat is best for protecting you from your leafy greens of choice — or so I’m told. These are tough times for food, starting with the Great Cyclospora Explosion of 2026. There’s also the Pillsbury Doughboy, reeling from the recall of nearly 736,000 bread rolls due to possible glass contamination. There’s the nearly 1.6 million dozen eggs, which may be sporting bits of salmonella enteritidis. There’s the crow that reporters were forced
Commentary: For some students, no such thing as a free lunch | Pat Beall (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Just when I was beginning to think that nature was all Texas screwworms and chuckling cyclosporiasis, Sweet Science goes and finds sugar, smack dab in the middle of the Milky Way. The new findings confirm that sugar can form even without life. I go further. I say that without sugar, life isn’t going to bother. Without sugar, life would look out at fields of brussels sprouts stretching to the event horizon and go right back to bed. Also? Sugars are forming in interstellar ice. Yes. Space Icee. It
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
Top 100K sites
For Orlando Sentinel, the outlet · Measured Aug 1, 2026
Website popularity band, not a count of readers or article views.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.