HeyJaredWorthless Clowns
a podcast about how stupid we all are, hosted by NYC comedians Ali O'Neil & Brittany Cardwell
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 7
- Latest publication
- Sep 17, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Aug 6, 2026
Latest episodes
GEORGE COSTANZA CAN'T STAND YA (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Brittany is depressed and embarrassed that she is unable to order a spicy meal. Ali’s experiencing delusions of her dog chewing her paw. We decide to make taxidermy rat versions of ourselves. A listener’s boyfriend has seemingly never met a gay man and also cannot grasp what it means to be bi. Memories of Goku’s special attack, shaving bushes, and break-ups on birthdays. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-C
MY GIRLFRIEND DOESN'T KNOW MALE ACTORS (opens the original)
Read excerpt
We hype up pre-show by beating our chests, power posing, and self affirming. Brittany struggles to understand the pain scale and telling two famous old men apart. Ali gets high for her IUD insertion and is scared of who she will become if she starts wearing hats. A woman with loose butt cheeks gets chased down by the French police for trying to put in a tampon. Memories of overblown Ted Talks, misidentifying gar, and Siegfried and Roy. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read t
YOU GOT BIG EYES (opens the original)
Read excerpt
A man confronts Brittany about her big huge hotdog eyes. Ali chokes up around a band she just got into, and keeps waking up to a country song about boobs. A listener accidentally breaks into her boss’s house and makes a really big mess. Memories of Korn breakdowns, horse plates for dad, and tic tac toe. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follo
GUYS LOVE PIXELS (opens the original)
Read excerpt
It’s Ali’s one year anniversary of getting hit by a car! And she’s ready to get hit again! Brittany finally realizes what water and addresses are for. A listener too desperate to prove she can pee ends up looking very suspicious at her drug test. Memories of men loving pixels, embroidery addiction, and Ray Mysterio. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips an
HIS WEAPON WAS HIS LACK OF HYGIENE (opens the original)
Read excerpt
We go to Chicago! Ali’s shrimp knowledge is on full display at the aquarium, and a crab is doing Brittany’s physical therapy exercises. A listener plays metaphorical poker with an itchy man on the bus. Memories of 9/11 weddings, composing songs for Betty the dog, and Dinosaur Club. We want your stories!!! Send them in here and we will read them on the pod: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1dUW3R4J7smcoWQO-ChGTPMERkZbvTjlrZiM4bzfJ9IM/edit?ts=696e8197 For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlesscl
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.