HeyJaredWhat's In Theaters +
Stay up to date on the week's latest movies, in theaters and streaming. No spoilers and written as if you're talking to a friend. Sent every Wednesday.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 11
- Latest publication
- Sep 26, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 17, 2026
Latest issues
Artsy fartsy. (opens the original)
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THE QUOTE 🎬 💬“Bullshit. You don't know what love is. You've gotten everything you have always wanted and now you're feeling sorry for yourself because there's something you want and you can't have it.”hint: the same text every mid-30’s bride adds to their day after Instagram wedding postTHINK THOUGHTS 💭<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.
The best movie (based on a video game) ever? (opens the original)
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THE QUOTE 🎬 💬“Everything's a dream, when you're alone.”hint: he’s having a very wet dream (and not like that)THINK THOUGHTS 💭I find it funny how often I’m showcasing a bunch of movies, knowing there’s reeeeeeally one movie that most people will care about / going to make money. And this week, it’s Resident Evil. Honestly, with good reason
Which witch would you watch? (opens the original)
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THE QUOTE 🎬 💬“I don’t want to see this on your MySpace page.”hint: he is a manTHINK THOUGHTS 💭Turns out the few of you who voted think the overviews are juuuust fine. Which is great, because I wasn’t going to change them anyway. This is a dictatorship after all.Oh you think you have a choice in the movies you watch? Yeah no. I sneak subliminal messages in every week, making sure I point you to juuuuust the thing I want you to watch. “<e
Ryan Reynolds loves you. ❤️ (opens the original)
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THE QUOTE 🎬 💬“If we're going to Virginia why don't we drop by Fort Knox? I could fly a helicopter through the lobby and set it down right inside the vault. And it would be a hell of a lot easier than breaking into the goddamn CIA.”hint: Dun dun dada, dun dun dada, dun dun…THINK THOUGHTS 💭Question time!NEWSY BITS 👾<a href="https://www.hollywoo
The People vs. Warner Bros. (opens the original)
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THE QUOTE 🎬 💬“No time for thanks this morning, honey.We’re gonna be busier than a one-armed paper hanger.”hint: HaircutsTHINK THOUGHTS 💭We’re doing it again y’all. That collective mourning thing. I doubt I need to share why. But for posterity, I’m talking about Dolly Parton, Tim Curry and maybe a bit niche some of y’all, Peter Cullen, the voice of Optimus Prime in Transformers as well as Eeyore in Winnie the P
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