HeyJaredWe're Gonna Get Those Bastards
Everything that is depraved, especially finance, culture, music and sex.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 12
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
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- Aug 5, 2026
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Captain Obvious (opens the original)
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My brother (who I write about from time to time) has been a big supporter on my weight loss journey. So the other day he sends me a video from Mel Robbins where she is extolling the virtues of exercise. She says that it makes you feel better, she says that it is good for your health, she says that you will live longer, etc.So while I appreciated the fact that my brother sends me motivational stuff like this, I couldn’t help but wonder: don’t we all know that exercise is good? That is a pretty un
Live with Paul Ollinger (opens the original)
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Get more from Jared Dillian in the Substack appAvailable for iOS and Android<a class="install-substack-app-embed-link" href="https://substack.com/app/a
Terminal Uniqueness (opens the original)
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Say you have a problem. Your wife cheated on you. Actually, say you have several problems. Your wife cheated on you, you have gambling debts, your kid got arrested for shoplifting, you’re getting a tax audit, and you have back pain. You probably think that your life sucks, and that you are the only person in the history of the world who has had these problems. And consequently, you feel isolated, and you are fighting this battle alone.Been there. One thing I have learned, though, in the last two
You Only Have One Penis (opens the original)
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In the summer of 1988, I was in gifted and talented camp. I had a girlfriend. I wanted more girlfriends. I spent the entire three weeks either chasing girls, making out, or engaged in heavy petting. I was 14 years old—the kids don’t do this nowadays.Anyway, one of my good friends from my dorm, Masahiro Matsumoto, once took me aside, held me by the shoulders, looked me directly in the eye, and said: “Jared—you only have one penis.” I have never forgotten it. I forget English literature, different
THE AWESOME PORTFOLIO (opens the original)
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Hi everyone,Today is the release day for my seventh book, THE AWESOME PORTFOLIO. If you haven’t ordered it yet, now would be a good time!But this note isn’t intended to be an infomercial for the book. I simply wanted to express an enormous amount of gratitude for everyone who contributed to this book in some way, whether in helping to form my ideas or doing the historical returns, or even just providing moral support. I couldn’t have done it without you.But I also want to express gratitude in ge
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