HeyJaredUnfinished
Making sense of being human, short stories, and whatever else I'm thinking about.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Sep 25, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 24, 2026
Latest issues
Why Are Managers Dicks? (opens the original)
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Why Are Managers Dicks?Now, I realize I've been a manager at many points in my career, but I'd like to think I don't belong in the aforementioned sack of despicable beings labeled as bad managers.To all my previous team members, I'm sorry if I've ever been an idiot…well, an idiot boss, not a general idiot, because the latter is quite possible.It's taken me a while to figure this out, but managers are just other stupid humans, you know. I know what you’re thinking: ‘He took a long time to figure
I Miss Paying for Late-Returned Movie Cassettes (opens the original)
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ShareI watched Mike and Nick and Nick and Alice the other day. I think it’s the first time in a while I actually enjoyed a movie. It reminded me of the 90s and early 2000s when movies were scarce, and the team had to put their best foot forward - they had to entertain people, and this one actually did.Also, I can’t remember any Vince Vaughn movies since Dodgeball or Wedding Crashers,
My Parents Mailed Me a Photo of a Smarter Kid. It Made Me Indestructible. (opens the original)
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Every age has its distinct, inescapable brand of existential dread.In your twenties, anxiety is a cruel, invasive species. It sets up a permanent base in your brain and runs constant simulations of the absolute worst-case scenarios that might happen in your life. Might happen, sure. I’d say unicorn sightings were more likely. And it’s not that the brain doesn’t go crazy now, but experience is a soothing balm.Back in those days, every minor setback felt like a terminal diagnosis. It’s like the Ga
I Used to Hold My Pee for Federer (opens the original)
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The obsession with sports can make you crazy.I should know. For decades, I was that guy. The guy whose entire day—sometimes whose entire week—was utterly wrecked if a favorite player or team crashed out. If it was a close loss, I would be tattered for weeks, replaying every shot and tactical error in my head like a detective investigating a crime scene.If they won, I was ecstatic. My mental health thrived. If they lost, a psychological collapse invariably led me down a demonic trail toward artis
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