HeyJaredUnf*ck Your Life
A newsletter for people ready to tackle life's thorniest bullsh*t with humour and solidarity.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Sep 20, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 5, 2026
Latest issues
When the emotion postman comes knocking and he’s got a lot of redirected mail (opens the original)
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I recently got this message in my Substack inbox:“Hi there! Hope you are well! You last wrote about almost being murdered and then you stopped writing.”And I’d like to send a thank you to the most excellent subscriber who sent it, and galvanised my burnt-out butt into being visible and perceived again. I am just going to call her C, and I don’t know her, but I bet you she’s one of life’s lovely folk, who’ll check in on the older person who lives alone or pick up someone else’s litter and bin it,
How I Didn't Get Murdered The Other Week (opens the original)
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I reckon I might actually go on a date from that gloriously batshit ‘dating profile’ video I posted last week. You know, the one where I was table-saw wrangling as Janky Garth? Can you believe it? So fun!Throwing that video up on social media after a long time of avoiding socials was a gut instinct to just be myself and an urge to finally reappear. No editing, no filters, just being happy with looking rough and being silly for the purposes of entertainment, and the positive responses blew me awa
A dating profile video? Ok, hold my beer a sec... (opens the original)
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I’ve never been so tired, filthy and unhinged but I’m happily ever closer to moving into my little cottage. Please enjoy this little video of a recent glorious moment of lucidity and glamour. 🤣 And if you’re reading on email, I reckon this one is worth tapping through to watch on Substack, if you’re not already there. SO. CLOSE. Electricity, water, carpets upstairs, flooring downstairs and the rest of the doors getting hung - all this week. Soon, I’ll be able to use my much-expanded brain for al
I've nearly finished the cottage renovation! (opens the original)
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Dear LORD where does the time go? One moment I’m thinking of what thoughtful and incisive things I want to chat to you about, and the next I poke my head up into the real world and three weeks have passed. And in that time, I’ve done nothing but work on the cottage. I guess that’s what I get for overestimating my capacity and underestimating the amount of work to be done, but my gosh it’s been interesting and rewarding. Oh, and infuriating, physically debilitating, and stressful too, but mostly
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