HeyJaredTMI - Too Much Internet
Part personal essay, part humorous take on the news of the week, all "wow, this person spends wayyy too much time on the internet".
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 12
- Latest publication
- Sep 25, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 10, 2026
Latest issues
Consumption King (opens the original)
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Heads up: Substack is telling me this post is too long for email. I refuse to make cuts because that’s what self-editing is all about. You may need to come to the site, app, or click “view entire message” to see everything.Hello, hello! Happy Friday! It’s a cool, overcast day here in Chicago, just like it has been basically every single day for the last week. It seriously feels like someone flipped the “IT’S FALL, BITCH!” lever somewhere. Leaves are turning yellow, my tomato plants have insta-ri
Capri Mold (opens the original)
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Hello and happy Friday! I started this newsy early for once, on a rainy, overcast Thursday here in Chicago (look at me, getting AHEAD). Late Friday (now today, I guess) afternoon, we’re headed down to Missouri for my hubby’s family reunion. It’s about a 5-hour drive, so I figured it’d be best to get this thing ready to go so I wasn’t writing in the car like last time we went down there.This week has been very busy, as always, but also very good! First off, my buddy and I had some political satir
Pépite (opens the original)
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Hiya! Happy Friday, friends!It’s currently sunny and a perfect 77° outside here in Chicago, and I have had an incredibly busy week. I’m so glad I ended up taking off that big chunk of time — I really needed to recover a bit and let my brain settle down. Of course, it’s fully back to looking like one of the fried eggs in those drug commercials except the drug is writing, but it’s at least less cooked.I’ve actually been so busy this week that I didn’t sit down to write the newsy until very late in
The Great Caffeine Incident (opens the original)
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Hello hello, and happy Friday! My week of PTO is wrapping up, and it has been ever-so-lovely to write NOTHING (except for these newsies, obviously) and work on a couple of household projects I’ve been thinking about for months (more on that in a second).It has been absolutely BOILING in Chicago this week — up into the 90s, and hilariously, when the city opened up one of the bridges on Lake Shore Drive, the heat caused enough expansion that it couldn’t close properly.<a class="image-link image2 i
Let’s Eat Plastic (opens the original)
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Heya friends! Happy Friday!I’m currently over here basking in the glow of being off work! Yesterday was my birthday and the beginning of my PTO, and I had a fabulous day doing little to nothing, which was exactly what I wanted. I got up late, played a little Balatro, watched some TV, and got started on a project I’ve been wanting to work on for a while: setting up a reading nook in my office (Virgo birthdays are for projects, you know?).I’ve got the next week off (up through Labor Day), so I’m h
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