HeyJaredThis Was Funny at 2 a.m.
Humor newsletter written in the middle of night, published at a reasonable hour to appear professional
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 10
- Latest publication
- Sep 28, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 4, 2026
Latest issues
My Brother Heroically Gave My Car CPR (opens the original)
Read excerpt
You’re a responsible person. You used your book smarts and your common sense to get a degree with well-paying prospects. You purchased a respectable home. You’re raising your children to be decent, responsible people. And then there are your five younger siblings, who may not be indecent, per se, but definitely aren’t responsible. Especially not the one who moved hundreds of miles to live right down the road from you, encourages your children in their cat fart art, and who made you her emergency
Pardon My French Potato Salad (opens the original)
Read excerpt
A lot of things become suspicious if they’re not an unnaturally orange color. Hi-C, young adults wearing makeup in the late aughts, Tupperware that stored your latest tomato sauce, elderly men with freakishly sculpted calves, Conan O’Brien, potato salad.Yes, potato salad. Tossed tubers with normal hues are nothing short of imposters. At least if you ask teenaged me seeing a potato salad that my mom didn’t make for the very first time.In the summers when I was a little kid, my dad barbecued a lot
A Washington State Park Cabin Was Nearly the Death of Me (opens the original)
Read excerpt
As the cabin got warmer and warmer, I stayed put in the bunk bed, gripping my sleeping bag for emotional support. Could I use the zipper as a defense mechanism? I’d accidentally caught the side of my stomach in it when I was getting into it earlier. How demobilizing was an inconvenient stomach pinch? Gracie Lou Freebush didn’t address that during the talent portion of the Miss United States pageant, so I couldn’t be sure.What I was sure of was that if I went over to the thermostat to turn it dow
I Got Injured By a Cowbell... Again (opens the original)
Read excerpt
I’m normally subdued at professional sporting events, quietly clapping as if any sudden movements would frighten the players and send them scurrying back to their bench. If I’m an opposing fan, I just send telepathic messages of support and apologize at the end in case any mind-readers are in the vicinity.It’s hard to keep your unbridled enthusiasm to yourself, though, when you wake up at 5 a.m. on the weekend to cheer on complete strangers. Strangers who are not professional athletes and mostly
A Moose is Going on Cooler Vacations Than Us (opens the original)
Read excerpt
“Bull moose are well-equipped to fight. At up to 1,600 pounds they are enormously powerful. Their shoulders are huge, and during the rut, their neck muscles expand to twice their normal size… Prior to clashing antlers, fighting bulls engage in intense displays including pawing the ground, thrashing their antlers against shrubs, and displaying their bodies and antlers.”Equipped with this information from the National Park Service, a newly minted lady moose said, “Ew, get me out of the woodlands b
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.