HeyJaredThis movie is a Cancer
“This movie is a Cancer” is a newsletter about astrology and cinema, maybe not in that order, written by someone who is obsessed with both.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Aug 23, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 5, 2026
Latest issues
Dusty was an Aries. Phoebe is a Taurus. (opens the original)
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I’m not supposed to be writing this. I’m supposed to be rewriting a pilot and crafting perfect little 250 word essays about theme and my series vision. Or at the very least, I should be writing my Leo Deep Dive. Which is coming. I swear.1 But instead, for the first time since the day she left us in June of last year, I reached out to Dusty.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!seci!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsub
Summertime Nostalgia (opens the original)
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Hello! Happy Venus Day! I’m wildly discombobulated, how are you? I keep thinking its Monday.1 And that we’re several weeks into August.2 I don’t know why — practically, emotionally, or planetarily.I’m hard at work at work, other work, on a feature I’m writing with a friend, on the Sundance episodic lab application, AND on our Leo Deep Dive. 😵💫 So this week is a round up of all nine zodiac di
This movie is a Cancer | Late Summer/Fall Syllabus (opens the original)
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Hello darling, how’s this Mercury retrograde in Cancer treating you? As a Mercury retrograde baby (with my Mercury in Cancer, no less) I sort of assumed I was immunized to this transit at birth. I even secretly wondered if something in my life would improve during the last couple of weeks. I was wrong. It did not. Just as an example of the kind of malarky I’m talking about, I started a new job the day Mercury stationed retrograde (6/29) and we’re still trying to figure out my start paperwork. YI
This Ashley is a Cancer (opens the original)
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Today is my birthday and since I’ve already written a Cancer Season Deep Dive, I guess it's a good time to formally introduce myself. HI! I’m Ashley and I contain multitudes. This is what the sky was like when I was born.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YUwD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.c
LES DEMOISELLES DE ROCHEFORT is a Gemini (opens the original)
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Hello Hello! Happy Mercury Day and welcome to our deep dive into one of the most maligned signs of the zodiac! As a Scorpio rising1, I know the pain of being associated with a highly stigmatized sign and, while I do delight in the memes, this will always be a place where no sign is bad. Because that would be boring. Also wrong. But mostly boring. And boredom is death (especially to a Gemini).<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn
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