HeyJaredthird martini thoughts
Third Martini Thoughts is a collection of essays, cultural commentary, and cocktail napkin wisdom written from the edge of a barstool and the depths of the female soul.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 2
- Latest publication
- Jul 17, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 10, 2026
Latest issues
We Have Dreams To Chase, Girl! (opens the original)
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I’d be lying if I said every accomplishment in my life was fueled by some healthy and pure desire to become the best version of myself. Healthy can work, but spite typically lasts longer. Sometimes I’ve kept going because someone else had already decided I couldn’t. Some people only believe you’ll fail because they can fathom dreaming that big. Others will hope you fail because your success would force them to confront their own failures and complacency. You can either let their opinion become t
'Backrooms' May Have Saved My Life (opens the original)
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I am the biggest wimp when it comes to horror films. I saw The Skeleton Key and The Ring whilst flipping through the television channels as a kid, and it permanently scarred me for life. Why would I want to spend two hours in a stressed state worried about the next jump scare when I am already crippled with anxiety every day? That is, until I decided to watch Kane Parson’s debut horror film, Backrooms. <a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!d7p
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