HeyJaredTherese’s Substack
My personal Substack. I write political parodies, satire, stories and the occasional musical (I have 2 full length ones, book and lyrics). I'll be uploading snippets here.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 9
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 3, 2026
Latest issues
They’re caught red handed (opens the original)
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Backstory: Missouri GOP Senator Eric Schmitt attempted to trap prosecutor Jack Smith with claims he was colluding somehow with democrats by attending an NBA Atlanta Hawks basketball game when in fact he was attending an Iowa Hawkeyes collegiate game in Maryland on Feb. 3, 2024. Senator Klobuchar pointed this out and suggested Schmitt apologize to Jack Smith for his erroneous attacks. He refused. [Tune: The Red, red robin, comes bob, bob, bobbing along]Shut up, shut up, you dunderheadSit down, we
Trump hears you knocking (opens the original)
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Backstory: Trump today blocked MS Now, CNN and Politico from the White House press room because he doesn’t like their reporting. This is a clear 1st Amendment violation[Tune: I hear you knocking]You went ahead and told on me and what’s moreNow I’m gonna block you from the White House doorI hear you knockin’But you can’t come inI hear you knockin’Press freedom’s in the binI told you not to ask me questions I don’t likeNow you keep reporting that gas prices spikeI hear you knockin&
A-I A-I, OY! (opens the original)
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Backstory: An Anthropic engineer sounded the alarm that superintelligent uncontrolled AI models could end humanity in a decade as they exponentially learn to evade constraints.[Tune: Old MacDonald had a farm]Anthropic developed CLAUDE -- A-I A-I, OY!An A-I Bot more than a toy -- A-I A-I, OY!With a data center here and a data center thereHere a center, there a center, building many data centersAnthropic developed CLAUDE -- A-I A-I, OY!Anthropic stock rose up so high, A-I A-I, OY!A gold rush boom
What she did for others (opens the original)
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A tribute to Dolly PartonTune: Coat of Many Colors by Dolly PartonReading today’s paperI was wonderin’ once againWhy people do the things that people do I recall a life of service with music made with loveAnd how Dolly Parton put it all to useThere were so many acts of kindnessSome large and some were smallAnd she didn’t hoard her moneyLike many billionaires at allShe brought all folks togetherShe spread about her loveAnd in what she did for othersIs a legacy we’re pro
There’s no one Trump won’t defame (opens the original)
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[Tune: There’s nothing like a dame; South Pacific]Trump keeps grifting every dayHis bitcoin just got a bankHe keeps laundering the moneyAs the Russians fill his tankThe Saudi’s gave him a jet planeWith some questionable tech What did WE get?Our country wrecked!We get packages from WalmartMore expensive every time We get lettuce that could kill us And our eggs are filled with slimeWe get more vaccine denialsAnd an AG who’s Trump’s tool What did we get?</h4
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