HeyJaredThe Will to Banter
Comedy short stories with a philosophical limp. Mad magazine meets Chekhov.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 14
- Latest publication
- Sep 27, 2026
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- Jul 4, 2026
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A royal tragedy (opens the original)
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“Your royal highness,” the royal advisor said. “I bring terrible news about your eldest son.”King Edmund sat up in bed. “Oh no. Dear God, no.”“Prince Thomas has tragically passed.”“Oh no, no, NO. How?”“Skydiving.”“My dear son… my legacy…” The king clenched his eyes shut. He held back tears. He took a deep, shaky breath.“Before I succumb to grief,” the king said. “I must remember my duty. I am a ruler first, a father second. Ruling a kingdom cannot be done by just anyone. It requi
The Will to Banter: Part 3 (opens the original)
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Millennials and Gen-X: partners in solving crime (opens the original)
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Two middle-aged detectives, partnered up for the first time. John, the department’s resident optimist, and Paul, the grizzled veteran.They sat in the living room of an elderly woman, Molly. She was distraught. Three days ago, Molly had reported her 35-year-old daughter missing.“I’m very worried,” Molly said from her armchair, wringing her hands. “This is not like her to disappear like this. I told her she shouldn’t go hiking alone. I’m so very, very worried.”“There’s absolutely no need to worry,
Think about what you DO have (opens the original)
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Note from the great author: This one is probably better experienced in audio form.I said, “I know on the outside I appear to have it all. Fame, good looks, six foot three, fifteen percent body fat, wit, charm, an intellectual’s flair. But remember, you have one thing I can’t have… youth.”“I’m only one year younger,” he said.“Are you sure? I thought you were at least… two years younger.”“No. I’m one year younger. Eleven months, actually.”“Oh, that’s nothing.”<
The Bestest Aphorisms (vol. 4) (opens the original)
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Aphorism 1: On writing a good introductionI pity the poor dreg who introduces himself as a “writer.”It’s pretentious, cringe-inducing, and just plain embarrassing.That’s why I now introduce myself as—and I quote—“a self-confessed bad boy of philosophy.”*Aphorism 2: On being built to work“You realise, as of today, you’ve been unemployed for a whole year now?” the wife informed her husband.“Is that right?” the husband replied from the cou
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