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The Weekly Needle

The Weekly Needle is America's number 1 satirical news source.

Newsletter · By The Weekly Needle · English · US · Official site

Indexed issues, last 90 days
26
Latest publication
Oct 1, 2026
Audience
Checking…
Earliest in this view
Aug 25, 2026

Latest issues

  1. Issue · Oct 1, 2026

    Senate Committee Accidentally Advances Caitlin Clark Instead of Trump Nominee for Surgeon General (opens the original)

    Excerpt

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    <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="512" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Aqxj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F47ed4c7b-e583-4f14-a297-11c5cf4903da_768x512.jpeg"

  2. Issue · Sep 30, 2026

    The Weekly Needle Celebrates Its 1-Year Anniversary with a Gasoline and Cigarettes Party (opens the original)

    Excerpt · Neutral tone

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    <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="559" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oorw!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F50b9bc91-3c2e-4858-8c30-635cdb3c3f64_1024x559.jpe

  3. Issue · Sep 30, 2026

    Motionless RFK Jr. Spends Hours Trying to Catch Fly With His Tongue (opens the original)

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    <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="818" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vutM!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F18daa6aa-a60a-459f-b038-5e6abc9b5662_1862x1046.pn

  4. Issue · Sep 30, 2026

    A.I. Is ‘Better Informed’ Than Experts, Claims Man Who Collects Raccoon Penises for Fun. (opens the original)

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    <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1800" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!mPA0!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7229a31b-51ee-4509-a8fb-1ff4e56c029c_180

  5. Issue · Sep 28, 2026

    To Manage Growing Outbreaks, RFK Jr. Recalls Food. (opens the original)

    Excerpt

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    <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="829" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wg6t!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1326f3a9-aff6-4928-a54f-60b4e6b6ce29_639x82

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