HeyJaredthe unemployment diaries
muppet in training // zoloft-powered musings about girlhood, unemployment, and whatever else is on my mind at the moment. home for fellow anxious girls and muppets alike!
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 10
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- Aug 20, 2026
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- Aug 12, 2026
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diary of a siren (opens the original)
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Dear Diary, Had a pretty awful day. Woke up on the wrong side of the reef and everything just kept going downhill from there. It’s been almost a year since I started doing my shifts on the island’s northern cliffs, can you even believe. It feels like just yesterday I was spending the eight-hours doing my nails with Nessa and Galene, yapping and drowning sailors and yapping some more about how ugly the sailors were. The best days…Now I’m stuck on the icky northern cliffs with Menopause Merle and
false confidence (opens the original)
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Don’t take yourself so seriouslyLook at you, all dressed up for someone you never see“Am I pulling this off?” The question is posed in the direction of my mirror, but meant to ricochet backwards and hit my friends in the face. Body checking and fit checking and all sorts of fidgeting is all I can see from the image in the reflection, but objectively there’s also a person in a blindingly bright green jumpsuit, complete with a floral-embroidered pink jacket. The employees of Zara could smell the p
50 books, ranked (#1-25) (opens the original)
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This is the second part of my ranked 50 books - read part one here: As a preface to this second part, I read a lot of good books this year. A lot of these are only ranked lower because they were beat out by a fraction of a percentage by others. I would, in clear conscience, recommend any book on this list. #25: An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good by Helene Tursten Dark comedy, mystery, short storiesA very easy, one-sitting read with a lot of heart. The physical book is also incredibly adorable:<fig
50 books, ranked (#50-26) (opens the original)
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2026 brought with it the lethal combination of unemployment, moving to a house, finally getting a dog-walking gig, and discovering audiobooks. The former three steps were the means and the latter element was the mode to how I am able to say I have read 50 books this year so far. To be clear: I think bragging about how many books you’ve read is stupid. We can’t all read fast, and I’d rather sit and really reflect on what I’m reading than zoom through a ton of novellas just to hit a goal on Jeff B
it’s better this way. (opens the original)
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listening to the ceiling creakwhen the neighbors get in fights.ordering one chipotle bowl instead of two. walking to my car without calling you.skipping those songs on my short commutes. letting myself have closurein the form of absence. in the formof putting the photos face down.in the form of throwing them away. i tellthe mirror. i tell the blank tv screen. i tell you, somewhere across oceans.i wonder if you hear it
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