HeyJaredThe Shame Whisperer
Come with me...we're gonna go laughing while exploring the intersection of shame, safety, feminism, mother-adult daughter relationships, body image, diet culture, weight loss medications, "taking the easy way out," and silent discoing on the boardwalk...
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 7
- Latest publication
- Sep 3, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 9, 2026
Latest issues
Life Beneath The Layers: The Courage to Meet Yourself (opens the original)
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I had the honor of being asked to write the Foreword to Cathy Yuhas‘ latest book, “Life Beneath The Layers: The Courage to Meet Yourself“ (it drops next Tuesday, September 9).I want to share it here:For a long time, I believed the voice in my head that told me I was bad. Pathetic. A spoiled brat. That voice wasn’t mine originally. It came from somewhere older, passed down through generations like a piece of fu
You get to change your mind as many times as you want to (opens the original)
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You get to change your mind as many times as you want to.“...I’ve been struggling with my decision to remain no contact with my mom because I was partly using your continued contact with your mom against myself.”“You had it so much worse than I...”“I just learned how to stop taking her words so personally and then I was able to have a relationship with her.”“I am completely estranged from my mother and I am at peace...no guilt.”These are things said to me, by adult daughters, about the relations
small and quiet against your will (opens the original)
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The problem isn’t that your mother emotionally abused or wounded you or that her mother did the same to her.(which isn’t to say it’s okay that it happened)The problem isn’t that you have such a wound.The problem is that you are ashamed of that wound (as your mother was ashamed of hers, and so on).That you are ashamed of your wound isn’t your fault.It’s because:#1 humans are physiologically and evolutionarily wired to experience shame...#2 your childhood wounds were not compassionately witnessed
generational trauma, generational wisdom (opens the original)
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I received a lovely email from Đoan Hoàng, writer, director, and producer of Oh, Saigon: A War In The Family, in response to A Very Special Episode of the Dear Adult Daughter podcast.She said that my work had been helpful to her in de
Setting boundaries with people who are being "nice" to you (opens the original)
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I was in an online forum recently where someone asked for very specific advice on how to get people (LOTS of people) to stop complimenting them on something they didn’t want to talk about. They wrote: I’m tired of (and hurt by) people “complimenting” me on ___ when it’s the least interesting/important thing about me, and want to find a way to tell folks nicely to knock it off. I don’t want to be told “just accept it for what it is,” “they’re only trying to be nice,” “you can’t control what other
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