HeyJaredThe Regular
A newsletter of industry absurdities and musings on local life as told by a young waitress.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
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- Sep 18, 2026
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- Sep 18, 2026
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In Defense Of the Waitress (opens the original)
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The summer air wafted through the open car window, thick like emissions from a vast oven. The hopeful glow of the Meijer grocery sign spilled into my sweaty lap. I took a stupid and amateur drag from my cigarette, letting the smoke pool in my mouth without gulping it down. Jeanette was talking at me, and I was crying.“It’s going to be just fine, baby. He’s one miserable motherfucker.” The sweet croak of her voice paused a moment. I sniffled. Jeanette took my hand in her rubbery, squishy palm, co
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