HeyJaredThe Messy Middle
The Messy Middle 🎙️ is about the space between healing and wholeness, clarity and confusion, exhaustion and hope. I’m Mila, a self-actualization coach for Black millennial women navigating betrayal, burnout, heartbreak, and big life transitions.
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 5
- Latest publication
- Sep 29, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Sep 1, 2026
Latest episodes
When You Outgrow the Room (opens the original)
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We talk about growth like it only ever adds to your life. It doesn't always. Sometimes the thing it quietly takes is the ease you used to have with the people who've known you longest.This episode is about what happens when you change on the inside, where no one can see it, while the people around you keep relating to a version of you you've already left behind. We get into why relationships don't adjust as fast as you do, why some connections stretch to meet you while others stay stuck, and the
Why Choosing Yourself Triggers Guilt Every Time (opens the original)
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You set the boundary. You said the no. It was reasonable, it was necessary, and you'd stand by it if anyone asked. So why have you been replaying it for two days, wondering if you were too harsh?This episode is about the part of boundaries nobody warns you about. Not the saying, but everything that hits you afterward. We get into why boundaries disrupt the version of you people expect, why guilt shows up even when you've done nothing wrong, and how learning to read that guilt differently is wher
The Real Reason You Can’t Admit You’re Not Okay (opens the original)
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Somebody asks how you're doing and you say fine before the question even lands. No pause, no thought, just the reflex. It's practical, it keeps things moving, and it works so well that you can spend years managing everything on the surface while losing track of what's actually going on underneath.This episode is about the gap between how well you're functioning and how you're actually doing. We get into the difference between coping and healing, why the two look identical from the outside, and h
Why You Reject Help (Even When You’re Drowning) (opens the original)
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You've learned to need almost nothing. You'd rather do it the hard way, on your own, than ask for help and deal with whatever asking brings up in you.It looks like independence, and a lot of it is. But underneath it can sit a quieter belief: that needing something says something about you.In this episode, we're talking about where that belief comes from and what it costs you to keep hiding what you need. We get into the shame that can show up around asking for help, the definition of "capable" y
Why Peace Feels Unsafe When You’re Used to Survival (opens the original)
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You've always been the one who handles things. When life gets hard, you find a way through. People depend on you because you're strong, capable, and reliable. But somewhere along the way, being strong can stop feeling like something you do and start feeling like the only version of you you're allowed to be.In this episode of The Messy Middle, we're talking about the cost of always being the strong one. Where did that identity come from? What happens when your ability to survive, adapt, and keep
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