HeyJaredThe Life of a Femcel
Bitchy 24-year-old in LA overshares about sex, religion, gossip.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 3
- Latest publication
- Aug 29, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 17, 2026
Latest issues
I’m Sorry, But I Can’t Date Nerds (opens the original)
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Dungeons and Dragons. Catan. Board Game Night. Magic: The Gathering. Trivia. Harry Potter.What do these things have in common? They all make my clit limper than a stiff roll of newspaper left out in the rain.Nothing makes me more flaccid than trivia. I also do not want to play Catan. I want to watch Madonna’s 1990 MTV Awards performance and gossip about Andrea Long Chu1. You are telling me about a Harry Potter spin-off series; in my detumescence, I am googling if Viagra works for women.</s
Offline Dating Diaries: January (opens the original)
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It’s 2026; new year, new me as they say. I delete all my dating apps and decide to date purely IRL.Maybe it’s a social experiment, maybe it’s just an idea for a blog post. And that’s a secret she’ll never tell.Either way, the tapped “remove app” icons on my iPhone (for Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, Feeld, and HER) must have emitted some energy into the universe–a few days later I get a text from my friend Laura. Laura has met a woman in her yoga class who she thinks is perfect for me.“She’s also from L
This Movie's Biggest Secret? It's Dumb And Everyone Is Too Dumb To Notice (opens the original)
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A bitchy twink, my traditionally-minded female friend, and I were all hanging out. Our girlfriend was worried she’d never find a husband and have kids. The gay guy says he can’t imagine doing any of that right now.“But I don’t have to worry about that because I don’t have a biological clock ticking. Tick tock! Tick tock!”Like oh wow thank you! We weren’t aware of our dying ovaries and the fact that we could not, in fact, spend the next 20 years paying $120 to go to foam parties, then wake up wit
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