HeyJaredThe Grumpy Strategists
The Grumpy Strategists chat about defence and security issues, from an Australian perspective. We say simple things about complicated issues that help cut through the politics and careful bureaucratic talking points.
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 11, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 10, 2026
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The Censorship Edition: slow change accelerates in politics, war, cricket & climate. But Govt censorship just keeps rolling (opens the original)
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Marcus and Michael broadcast this edition of the Grumpy Strategists from two secure locations: Marcus kicking back birdwatching from SAA's home bunker in the Brindabellas outside Canberra, and from an undisclosed site in Secret Harbor WA. They apply Hemingway's line about bankruptcy (how does it happen? Slowly, then quickly) to the changes unravelling the world of Australian cricket, the conduct of war, political parties across Australia and the climate (with graphic evidence from the recent Nep
Australia's two "Wunderwaffen" can't both be magical: Hunter frigates and AUKUS subs (opens the original)
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The Grumpies return to SAA's bunker deep in the Brindabella Hills. It's time to take stock of the $9 billion spent so far on 3 Hunter frigates for Australia's Navy, with $18 billion still to go. The right time to stop a bad project is now, before more years - and $18bn of scarce defence cash is wasted. The Hunters are meant to be the world's best anti-sub hunting ships - but they still rely on what many other cheaper ships have: a single sub-hunting helicopter with dipping sonar and torpedoes, a
UK Count Binface's Australian Connection, AUKUS August, and Lethal Wellbeing (opens the original)
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Michael calls in from Count Binface's campaign to beat Reform UK's Nigel Farage in the Clacton by-election. The Grumpies ponder a Binface-type manifesto for Australia - "I will cut your taxes and raise everyone else's," along with "The hand-dryer in the gents' toilet at the Great Himalayas restaurant Southport to be moved to a more sensible position". Practical politics for real people. Then Marcus unveils his path to make the AUKUS submarine program a truly national endeavour. It involves Strat
AUKUS subs' temporary base is permanent again: Mr Conroy loses his trousers in Washington, startling Elbridge Colby (opens the original)
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Marcus undertakes an emergency mercy flight to Washington DC to comfort and counsel Department of War deputy Elbridge Colby, stunned by the stab in the back from America's Aussie ally on American access to a sub base in Western Australia. After telling Americans and the world that US subs use of the base had always been time limited and would end in 2032, Mr Conroy undertook an intense self-criticism session. Demonstrating his flexibility, he then directly contradicted himself on instruction fro
Grumpy Strategists episode 77: Those silly Canadians. Drone wars - US joins Ukraine. & Zumwalt: The Expense Continues (opens the original)
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It's a packed episode from the SAA bunker deep in the Brindabella Hills: Marcus gets into the world of high fashion with Gina Rinehart and Pauline Hanson, Michael marvels at Canada's "Three Stupids" from their recent submarine decision (although it's not clear who the stupid ones are: the Canadians who will get actual, new, submarines within a decade, or us AUKUS folk Downunder). Then the Grumpies assess the American military's first active use in war of unmanned surface attack drones and outlin
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