HeyJaredThe Dating Optimist
Challenging tired dating myths one graph at a time—and giving you an edge in San Francisco’s weird and competitive dating market
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 3
- Latest publication
- Sep 3, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 10, 2026
Latest issues
Unexpected Lessons from My AI Honeypot on Hinge (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Meet Chloe. She’s an attractive blonde woman in her early thirties. She lives in Pacific Heights, an affluent San Francisco neighborhood, and works for a biotech startup doing “Product Strategy”, whatever that means.She likes the outdoors, but she is not outdoorsy. Her adventure photos have the unmistakable look of a sunny afternoon somewhere on Amalfi Coast, complete with Athleta tights and Gucci sunglasses. Or a boat trip to Tahoe with her friends. Or a ski run in the Rockies; difficulty: medi
How to "Just Be Yourself": a Step-by-Step Guide (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Every man who has struggled with some aspect of his romantic life has heard the same advice at least once: “Just be yourself.”It is usually offered with kindness. A friend sees your best qualities and assumes that, if you stopped overthinking and let them show, the right woman would appreciate you. Sometimes the advice comes with examples of men around you who seem to succeed effortlessly by being unapologetically themselves. The intended message is encouraging: you already have what you need.Ye
Do Manly Acts Make Other Men Look Handsome? (opens the original)
Read excerpt
It’s no secret that San Francisco is not overflowing with traditional masculinity. “There are no hot men in San Francisco”, a comment on this TikTok reel laments. Comedians joke about it, female daters complain about it, and even some of the men seem resigned to the diagnosis.<a class="image-link image2" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!x9KD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpu
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.