HeyJaredTalking to Myself
Musings from an overactive mind. Gallows humor and overthinking since...actually, I can't remember when I wasn't this way.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 5
- Latest publication
- Sep 19, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 11, 2026
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free time (opens the original)
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If you come for me,pray I am distracted.Pray I have a plane to catch,a bird in the yard,a particularly good peachgoing soft on the counter.Hope I am occupiedwith the ongoing businessof being alive.I am not difficultto leave alone.I can make a homeout of almost anywhere.I can take the long way.I can change the subject.I can find something elseto look at.But if you put your handon the scaleand wait for menot to notice,you should hopeI am late.You should hopeI am tired.You should hope<br
the things i feared (opens the original)
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I like to look back at the fears I had as a child. I find delight in their sincerity and purity, in the way they could be both so small and so wild. I had a wonderfully warped little mind without much sense of scale.When my grandparents would leave my childhood home and make the short drive back to their house, I was convinced they were going to die. I knew they lived close by. I knew the route. I knew it took only a few minutes. None of that seemed particularly relevant to me. I would pick up t
why do you care (opens the original)
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I know this is not the most important thing happening in the world.I know actual emergencies are happening everywhere, all the time, and that spending several hundred words being furious about women being mean to other women on the internet is, objectively, not super high on the list.But I am at the end of my rope. Because somewhere along the way, we decided that contempt was the surest way to make it big on the internet.It is everywhere. A woman wears too much makeup, and someone has a hot take
the dance (opens the original)
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There’s a nervous laughter in the air.Say something.Say absolutely nothing.People will giggle,the great reflex,never hearingwhat’s said.They’re afraid again—of themselves.And I wonder:if everything burned,if we began again,with ash beneath our feet,what would we buildthis time?Would we inventanother toxic dance?<a class="image-link image2" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NIox!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-med
hang loose (opens the original)
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I’m always halfway out the door before I remember to turn the television on for Delilah (my dog).Despite having spent her entire life in apartments, she remains convinced every sound in the hallway is either an intruder or the social event of the century. Left to her own devices, she’d spend the day conducting neighborhood surveillance.The television, somehow, drones out the more interesting sounds of life.It usually defaults to one of those wonderfully strange channels that appears to have purc
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