HeyJaredStroopwaffled
Once upon a time I worked in magazines. Writing about life as an American in Amsterdam.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 5
- Latest publication
- Sep 26, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 14, 2026
Latest issues
Screaming and laughing at the end of the world (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!z1x2!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2e3f56ec-88f3-4f35-a349-5709120f0163_3024x4032.
Cracking (myself) up (opens the original)
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I feel self conscious about using the bathroom while construction workers are in my house and it’s messing with my bowels, but I need to be careful — I’m one bad poop away from waking the lightly slumbering hemorrhoids I’ve had since giving birth nearly 21 years ago. I need to relax, I think to myself. I smoked a joint and told my husband I was “going to poop city” and as soon as I said it I thought it was hilarious and I was cracking up the whole time I was on the pot, so to speak. No one makes
Pilot holes and other grievances (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1092" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!lhG2!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ffb179e2b-4450-4470-9513-598dd3df78c6_4032x3024.
Ghost Ships on Sea and Land (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!srM4!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3261162c-908a-43e4-a720-b02d0159f9a1_3024x4032.
Mysticism and community in Atmospheric Scotland (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IuuI!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fde9ca7df-e6f7-4aa6-8988-17d65af5c885_302
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