HeyJaredSlow Down. Help Out. Wake Up.
A newsletter from Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison about waking up to your life by transforming fear into courageous compassion.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 12
- Latest publication
- Sep 24, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 9, 2026
Latest issues
The Blessing of Being Bonked on the Head (opens the original)
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A few days ago, a friend sent me a text message, and I didn’t know how to answer it. So I didn’t answer it. I just let it sit there, unread, or rather read and ignored, which is its own kind of dishonesty.When my friend finally asked me about it, I felt a small hot flush of embarrassment. I realized I hadn’t been honest. Not with them, and really, not with myself. There was a gap between what I was doing (avoiding) and what I would have said I was doing if you’d asked me (nothing, just busy). Th
The Buddha Land Is Right Here, Even When We’re Furious (opens the original)
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Last Saturday was the seventy-third day of our practice period. Our sangha sat all morning, ate lunch together, and a group of us gathered to study the Vimalakirti Sutra. I love this particular flow. We sit first, and only then do we open the book, because in my experience we have to sit in order to actually receive anything.There is a scene near the beginning of this sutra that undoes me every time. The Buddha touches the earth with his toe. That’s it. That’s the whole gesture. And through that
The Stone You’re Carrying (opens the original)
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During the Labor Day Weekend, Chodo took me to this gelato place I love because they make a dark chocolate vegan gelato that is, honestly, one of the great joys of my life. We got there and they were out.I thought this was hilarious. Chodo did not. I did not feel particularly happy about it either, if I am being fully honest. For a few minutes I walked down the street mildly disappointed over the absence of a flavor of frozen dessert. It was a gorgeous night in the city. There were people out, t
Expect Nothing, Seek Nothing, Grasp Nothing (opens the original)
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One of my favorite Zen figures is the ninth-century nun Iron Grindstone Lu. I love her name. One day I want to grow up and be Iron Grindstone Lou!Women were not permitted to live inside the monasteries of her time, so she built herself a hut outside the monastery walls and practiced there. She did not pretend the conditions were fair. They weren’t. She simply refused to let those conditions stop her from practicing.Later, she had a famous encounter with her teacher Zen teacher Guishan. She came
The Freedom of Not Knowing (opens the original)
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I went in for my annual eye exam not thinking much of it. Chodo and I go every year, nothing special. The doctor looked things over and said, “Good news, your prescription hasn’t changed.” Great, I thought. No new lenses to pay for. “And the other news,” he continued, “is that you have a detached retina. You’ll need emergency surgery.”I had never once, in my whole life, thought about my retina. Turns out we have them. Turns out one of mine had come loose.I called the surgical center and they tol
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