HeyJaredSearching for the Words
My husband of 40 years is living and dying with FTD, a rare form of dementia. My name is Patricia Paddey. I search for God in the midst of our days, and through this Substack, process my learnings on this uninvited, unanticipated, and unwelcome journey.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 19, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 4, 2026
Latest issues
A diagnosis clarified (opens the original)
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We waited almost a year for an appointment to see a neurologist at Winnipeg’s Movement Disorder Clinic. It was worth the wait.Ever since my husband’s initial diagnosis with corticobasal degeneration, I’ve watched for signs of movement issues. There have been none. He remains physically well and strong, able to take long brisk walks, and easily gets down on the floor to play with our grandchildren. So I was anxious to learn whether a second opinion might offer more context for the first, informat
A letter to 2019 me (opens the original)
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I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to participate in this summer’s collaboration series from Carer Mentor. Chin began Carer Mentor in the hope of building a “network of people and communities who care.” Her website is filled with resources—sources of inspiration, information and comfort—for caregivers the world over. She calls it “a portal of hope.” If you are a caregiver, do visit her site. If you know a caregiver, send them the link.Victoria invited me to “think of a specific past eve
Flesh of my flesh (opens the original)
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I’ve had moments when my husband’s diagnosis weighed so heavily on me I thought, I didn’t sign up for this.But after sitting with that thought for a while, I realized, in fact, I did. Signing up to care for him no matter what is exactly, precisely what I did. Because I meant every word of my marriage vows. If you are or have been married, I suspect you would say the same. Who among us is anything other than sincere when making such solemn promises? I spoke my vows to Doug almost 41 years ago. It
Taking inventory (opens the original)
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Last week, after receiving notice that a package awaited pickup, I sent my husband on a mission to retrieve it from the community mailbox in our building’s foyer. He returned with a smile, but without the parcel. “Where’s the package, hon?” I asked.“I put the thingy (hand gesture indicating a key turning) in the …” (hand gestures tracing a square), he said.“You put the key back in the mailbox?” “Yes!”“That’s good. But didn’t you get the package first?”“I put the thingy (hand gesture indicating a
A barbecue tale (opens the original)
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When Doug and I were married, one of his (more creative) clients gifted us an entire case of New York strip steaks and a case of red wine. I remember thinking we could eat steak every week for a year! A barbecue became one of our first purchases as a married couple. We walked across the street to Canadian Tire with a fistful of (wedding) gift certificates to buy it.We loved having people come for dinner to our little two-bedroom, two-storey rental townhome in north Toronto. “Come for dinner!” we
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