HeyJaredParenting Without Power Struggles
Susan Stiffelman is a family therapist, parent coach, and one of the country's premiere parenting experts, and the author of Parenting Without Power Struggles and Parenting With Presence (an Eckhart Tolle edition.) Susan's podcasts feature conversations with guests including Dr.
- Indexed episodes, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Aug 26, 2026
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- Aug 8, 2026
Latest episodes
4:4 The Perfectionist, Controller & People Pleaser: Your Manager Parts Explained (opens the original)
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Susan continues her Parenting Without Power Struggles series on Internal Family Systems, introducing "manager" parts. A healthy manager keeps life running smoothly, but when driven by old fears or insecurities, it can tip into perfectionism, control, or people-pleasing, often at a cost to our peace and our relationships. Susan explains why these parts formed, and why the path forward is curiosity, not judgment. How managers that run on fear form in childhood, often in unpredictable or conditiona
4:3 Calming Rage With IFS: Helping Protective Parts Relax (opens the original)
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Susan continues her Parenting Without Power Struggles series on Internal Family Systems, exploring how "firefighter" parts trigger intense reactivity, rage, and regrettable parenting moments. She explains that parents often fixate on what went wrong and overlook what went well — a result of the brain's survival-based negativity bias, which fuels shame and discouragement rather than change. Susan describes why firefighter parts need consistent proof that a grounded, wise Self ("Captain of the shi
4:2 Blindsided by Rage: An IFS Look at Firefighter Parts (opens the original)
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In this episode, Susan explores what Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls "firefighter" parts — protective parts that flood in with fast, intense reactions like rage, trying to put out old emotional pain, often at a cost to the relationship. She explains why these reactions aren't really about your child's behavior, and why healing them doesn't require your child to change first — using a real coaching conversation as an illustration along the way. In this episode, you'll learn: What a firefighte
4:1 Calm, Confident, Clear: Anchoring to Your Wise Self (opens the original)
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In this episode, Susan introduces the core idea behind Internal Family Systems and what it means for parenting: beneath our anxiety, anger, and overwhelm is a calm, confident "Wise Self" — the steady part of us that functions as the Captain of the ship for our kids. When our children act out, it's a protective part of us that takes over, not our true Self. Why our reactive outbursts ("I didn't mean to say that!") come from protective parts, not our Wise Self. How old wounds get reactivated by ou
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