HeyJarednotes from an empty bathtub
unpolished thoughts from a creative who can't get her shit together.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 10
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- Sep 28, 2026
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- Jul 4, 2026
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a little rescue kink (opens the original)
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From my earliest memories, I have fantasized about being rescued. I would float without moving, face down in the pool over and over over again on the off chance the barrel chested lifeguard would scoop me up and try to do mouth to mouth on me. (Never happened) I remember laying under my bed, seeing if anyone would notice I was missing for hours and wanting so badly for someone to come and take me away from a family that was always in a state of crisis. (No one ever knew I was missing). Imagining
it doesn’t always make sense (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!maV5!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1ce31ff8-7ba3-46b5-a1db-e22c83e8b441_3072x4096.
because everything I write seems stupid (opens the original)
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I’ve written a dozen drafts the past month and none have made it to the publish part. If you’ve read my stuff for very long, you will know that for stuff to be published with me, it doesn’t take very much. I am comfortable with mis-spellings, raw thoughts that aren’t polished, and chaos. but everything I write lately feels stupid. I almost am wondering if I have come upon a season in which I don’t really want to share what I’m doing or thinking (which has pretty much never happened). The world j
we contain multitudes (opens the original)
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I have no idea why today was the day of all the days that I decided to check “get right with the library” off my never ending list of “to do”s. 6 minutes before they closed.I had checked this pile of books out on a high from listening to a podcast about how important library spaces are (and they are) 9 months ago. But someone like me, with my particular affinity to being well intentioned but distracted, might do better just reading the books in the library. Because taking them home is a risk I d
making babies with narcissists (opens the original)
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Listen here. If you want to skip this one, I do not blame you. Once in a while I have to get some dark stuff out of my soul before I can go back to my whimsical, quirky, hopeful self. . .today is that day. (Good news is the star people are saying that Friday morning we should all feel better after the eclipse—-and I am taking their word for it). I married a narcissist when I was 19. I had no idea what a narcissist was—hell I didn’t even know how penises fit in vaginas, or what a kitchen aide was
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