HeyJaredNormal Island News
The UK's second most reliable news source after Gbeebies. Parody/satire x
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 15
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 5, 2026
Latest issues
The Fairford psy-op is back on! We’re pretending it was Iran after all! (opens the original)
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When the Fairford plot fell apart before it had got going, I honestly thought that was the end of it. The whole thing was so stupid that the internet saw through our lies and we just gave up trying.I mean our story was that “Middle-Eastern-looking boys” circled around a military base on high alert while the MoD ignored calls from the public, then blocked off a road with their vans until a plucky farmer chased them into the woods where they politely waited for 40 minutes for the police to arrive.
Golders Green wasn’t terrorism after all, but we’re still pretending the Muslim victim doesn’t exist (opens the original)
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Remember the Golders Green terror attack? Well, we want you to forget about it now because the police have announced it wasn’t terrorism after all. This revelation has completely ruined our narrative, so we don’t care about it anymore. All you need to know is that two Jewish men were brutally stabbed and we’re still treating that third Muslim victim like he doesn’t exist.At the time, we wouldn’t shut up about two of the three stabbings because they provided the perfect propaganda opportunity. We
Fairford suspects released on bail and returned to Mossad (opens the original)
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The five men suspected of plotting a massive terror attack at RAF Fairford have been released on bail. Authorities insist they are taking the matter seriously and refuse to accept this is all very weird. They told confused reporters that if they have concerns, they’re happy to take them in a helicopter ride above the base. Don’t worry, it’s fine to fly through restricted airspace and film stealth bombers during the highest security alert—as long as you tell the public how dangerous Iran is.Consp
Ed Sheeran’s US shows are being cancelled, even though he ditched Macklemore to save them (opens the original)
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You have to feel sorry for Ed Sheeran. He threw his friend of 13 years under a bus, lost the support acts on his Loop Tour, and publicly humiliated himself with a teleprompter in order to appease genocide supporters—and it looks like he’s been cancelled anyway.Just last week, Epstein associate Robert Kraft told Ed that if he doesn’t ditch Macklemore, he won’t be allowed to perform at any of his venues. Ed ditched Mack faster than he could say “all children deserve to live” and now his shows are
World’s most moral leader threatens UN with a pager attack (opens the original)
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Israeli prime minister and custodian of the Epstein files, Benjamin Netanyahu, has addressed the 81st UN General Assembly. He flew to the US for the event, despite the ICC arrest warrant. Several European countries were so keen to uphold international law that they let him fly through their airspace. Even better, the New York Mayor changed his mind about arresting him. Instead, the NYPD arrested the people who protested against him.You’d think this all meant the world was warming to Israel again
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