HeyJaredMiddlebrow
Culture writing and memoir about grief, death, life, awe and revelation from a middle-aged, middle class, middle child.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 2
- Latest publication
- Sep 14, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Aug 8, 2026
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Tortured by the Toilet Button (opens the original)
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Nobody I know1 wants to think too much about what goes on in the bathroom. Look at that euphemism: bath room. Even more obliquely, Americans also call it a restroom. That’s so polite it elides what we’re even doing there. I guess I’m resting? Well, I’m sitting down (sometimes). But I’m not there to rest and I’m not there to bathe.I spent a week in the lovely city of London recently with my girls and in the dog days o
I Put a Smell On You (opens the original)
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I have never really had a smell. What I mean is, I maintained a stink-avoidant posture, not a pro-smell position. I defined my personal aroma by avoiding stink, not by making myself smell better. This was true for the first 48 years of my life. I was happy. I was clean. I moved through life with a blank odor, a whiff of, at most, deodorant and soap. Until I had an epiphany: There are people in my life who smell good. More than avoiding stink, they surround themselves with pleasant odors. Why can
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