HeyJaredMFAMB
Reviews and musings on nothing and everything. Your mom's favorite substack.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 12
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 3, 2026
Latest issues
Cervical Ridiculousopathy (opens the original)
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Well, I Got The MRI (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="501" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!NMK1!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F98492a2a-87c8-431d-b075-973b2fb34f01_399x501.jpeg"
Older Ladies Crushing It (opens the original)
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As I enter my 7th day of infirmness, I feel every bit my age. So let’s talk about old ladies. As an over-50 former style icon turned Oompa Loompa slob, I feel uniquely qualified to weigh in here. I am becoming increasingly obsessed with women who are older than me and still look amazing. And I don’t mean Hollywood actresses who have unlimited money and … Read more
Please Buy Art, I Need an MRI (opens the original)
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Well. In a fun little plot twist absolutely no one ordered, I need an MRI.On Monday I woke up with insane pain running from my right shoulder blade all the way down my arm. Yes, I thought I was having a heart attack. That pain hasn’t moved or lessened in 6 days. I also basically cannot use my right arm right now. Which, as luck would have it, is my painting arm. And eating arm, and EVERYTHING arm. I can’t even use a fork to eat. I can’t do anything really but lay at a 45 degree angle. Even that
September Vibes (opens the original)
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For a moment, let's all pretend that September is not still in the 90s. That it’s actually Fall (because it is in 12 days) and we can wear jeans. Every Fall I want to look like an 80s J.Crew catalog and stomp around in the misty countryside. I could do a whole post dedicated to the misty countryside. <a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uLLf!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2
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