HeyJaredMary Nikkel: A Thousand Resurrections
These are my thoughts on music, mental health, and my becoming.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 9
- Latest publication
- Sep 23, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 19, 2026
Latest issues
On PTSD flashbacks in German bathrooms and, somehow, wholeness (opens the original)
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PTSD flashbacks, if movies are to be believed, are enigmatic, mysterious, tragic things.They’re not supposed to happen in German bathroom stalls.Mary Nikkel: A Thousand Resurrections is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.<
Frodo: patron saint of the traumatized (opens the original)
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This piece originally appeared on my Facebook in 2019 and went viral after I wrote it while blow-drying my hair before going to work during the darkest season of my adult life. I’m resharing it in honor of Hobbit Day 2026, and in recognition that my words here about trauma, psychic burdens, and strength ring even truer for me now than when I first wrote them 7 years ago. For more on that resonance, read about personal Mount Dooms this Suicide Prevention Month. <div class="subsc
A poem: To the fight (opens the original)
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I have been writing poetry a lot more regularly again. Comment and let me know if you’d like me to share more often in this space!For all of us bringing our hearts to the world, refusing to be hardened or made less: may we hold space for all of each other’s fragility. Know that yours is welcome here.To the fightI brought a heart to a knife fightand how very like meto think someone might say,“No, no, stoplet’s even the oddslet’s get hersome backup.”So it’s me and my pulseagainst cold
The blurry lines between suicidal ideation and chronic/terminal illness (opens the original)
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This is the story I’m not supposed to tell. It fits no maps for suicide prevention. It is inherently taboo.It is the truth.Mary Nikkel: A Thousand Resurrections is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.<input class="button primary" type="submit" value="Subscribe"
National Suicide Prevention Month 2026: Terminal Uniqueness (opens the original)
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One of the weird side effects of often feeling unseen when I was younger is that I have coped with a deeply ingrained sense of terminal uniqueness.That is, “the false belief that the situation a person is facing is unlike anything anyone has ever faced before. Is so unique that therapy and treatment or recovery programs that work for others will not work for them because they are a special case” (Out of the Fog).<div class="subscription-widge
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