HeyJaredLuisa Kolker
Poetry, essays, and memoir from the threshold of shadow and light, intertwining beauty, struggle, and liminal states. For all who are drawn to the wobbly, intimate work of being human.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 10
- Latest publication
- Sep 22, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 22, 2026
Latest issues
Black Butterfly with the Gold-Rimmed Wings (opens the original)
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One Year of Black Butterfly DiariesOne year ago, I began Black Butterfly Diaries with the piece below, which tells the story behind its name.Most of you who subscribe now weren’t here then, so this seemed like a good time to share it again.I also want to let you know that, for now, I’ve turned off paid subscriptions. Thanks so much to those of you who celebrated my launching of this Substack with your paid subscriptions last year. Your encouragement and kindness have meant a lot to me. I began B
Viral Encephalitis (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedInside the winter chrysalis my existence was an empty, unlit room. I could not feel my feet, could not taste or smell. I saw only the dim veil between the worlds, a silky-mesh nightmare where no sunlight could warm me. Stretch. Unfurl. I commanded myself, but my voice had no sound. Help me. I am alone in here. I am dying. But my friends outside could not hear. Six different doctors said: You’re just nervous. Take an Ativan.
The Day Before Leaving (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedHigh-desert winter junipers blue green black in the harsh angled sun My other home is by the sea, a continent far away Some places and people will never be able to reside side-by-side though long days of travel may bridge us for a while I fear my solitude is a good loneliness No ruin of dignity, no shattering of trust and so I will stay here My intimacies are with land, mountains that roll and reflect the moods of each momen
A Prayer While Cutting Grapefruit (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedNot since childhood have I done this, the methodical simplicity of cutting grapefruit. Three days ago it clung fast to a glossy-leaved branch in a forgotten citrus grove, where I twisted it and it dropped with full commitment into my hands. Now, on the second day of lockdown against the pandemic, I cradle this fruit, hold it close like a baby. I slice it in half: the two golden full moons greet me with aromatic mist that ris
The Servant (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedNever forget Ninshubur, the servant holding vigil on the surface of the Earth, keening and wailing for her mistress, Queen Inanna, who is lost in the depths of soul darkness, gone below, beyond the seven gates, into the Underworld. Ninshubur beats fiercely on the drum of sorrow, throws back her head, screams scalded-flesh sounds of mourning, summoning the intervention of gods and ministers. Inanna is draped in lapis, with ko
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