HeyJaredKnott, A Newsletter
Writing by Andrew Knott. Parenting, humor, and a little bit of randomness.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 10
- Latest publication
- Sep 25, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 10, 2026
Latest issues
I’ve Been Lying About Work Most of My Life (opens the original)
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The first time I remember lying about work I was 25 years old. I was working in a tennis pro shop at a small country club where the old, pudgy men in ill-fitting shorts would occasionally ask me what my career plans were while they poured coffee from the decrepit coffee machine into styrofoam cups. Obviously, working at a tennis pro shop 12 hours a week for minimum wage wasn’t an acceptable answer, so I stammered something about having just finished college and working on graduate school plans.
Hitting the Gym to Stop Time (opens the original)
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<img alt="A barbell with red plates on the floor of a commercial gym." class="sizing-normal" height="869" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Vwsi!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2
My Best Friend, The Crossing Guard (opens the original)
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‘Tis the season for the crossing guard story! I wrote this one 3 years ago. It was one of my first Substack posts, and it’s somewhat topical for this time of year, so I’m resharing it since it will be new to many of you. Also, I just hit 1000 subscribers! Let’s go. Thanks to everyone for being here.<a class="image-link image2" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!N3h0!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F505fdbe0
How I Connected With My Teen Through Comedy, Music, and Desperation (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="910" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_4gI!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff3ed1f5a-81cc-48c5-b48e-8f7de12104d3_2560x1600.pn
How a Series of Bad Decisions Can Lead to Humiliation at the Used Sporting Goods Store (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="869" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!SWpd!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9d213e0c-fab5-4b69-ab9a-ee2ba1355a90_1159x869.jpe
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