HeyJaredKim Weitkamp
I make my living telling stories. My mouth runs like a faucet in summer. Storyteller, humorist, writer, artist, speaker, singer/songwriter, maker of things.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Sep 1, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 8, 2026
Latest issues
Growth (opens the original)
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::sound up::Over the years, I’ve dipped in and out of ink and watercolor. The last time I put any major effort into it was about 10 years ago, but recently, I’ve been painting four to five days a week. I never put my paints away, so even if I have only 10–20 minutes, I can sit down and wet my brush.Recently, I found a watercolor and ink painting that I did in 2016. I honestly have no idea what kind of flower I was trying to create, but I decided to re-create it in a new way to gauge my growth.I’
The Mall Is Dead. Long Live Centipede. (opens the original)
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When I was a kid, we shopped at the York Mall.Sears was where most of our clothes came from. It was also where our grill came from. And our lawn mower. Sears empowered you with the ability to clothe your family, cook your hamburgers and maintain your perfect lawn.My first bra came from JCPenney. It was called The Underscore.Big milestone.But by the time I was sixteen, well into a more serious bra, the mall had become something entirely different. It was where you hung out with friends and accide
The Invisible Dinner Guest (opens the original)
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A couple years ago, I went home to visit my family and decided to arrange one large dinner so I could see everyone at once. This was presented as efficiency, but it was really self-preservation. Visiting family individually requires the stamina of a political candidate. By my third visit, my Kia has another 500 miles on the odometer (and I’m trying to remember which version of my childhood I have already agreed to).So, we all met at Olive Garden. The obvious choice. When you’re here, you’re fami
Demographic Junk Drawer (opens the original)
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I was filling out a questionnaire the other day when I came to the age section and got peeved.18–24.25–34.35–44.45–54.Then…55+.That’s it.Apparently after 55, statisticians just throw us all into one giant demographic crockpot and let us simmer.Think about the confidence they have in every other decade. They can apparently tell the subtle psychological differences between a 27-year-old and a 36-year-old. O
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