HeyJaredJellyfish Patrol
Letters for people who are tired of the hustle and hungry for the lovely, human work: tending to themselves, caring for others, and making things that matter.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 3
- Latest publication
- Aug 3, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 6, 2026
Latest issues
Everything I Own, I Will Keep (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Dear Friend,As you may know, I am moving out of London to travel and write for a while (no, I haven’t booked a single flight yet). For the foreseeable future, most of my worldly possessions will be held in a second-hand — and not entirely watertight — container on a farm in Norfolk. Here, they will wait for me on a piece of land inhabited by more pigs than people. You’d think this would make me want to be as minimalist as possible. And it does. In theory. <a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-
Did Living in London Fix Me? (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Dear Friends,In September of 2021, my sister Acacia and I found ourselves spat out of a sweaty train onto platform five of Clapham Junction on a perfect bluebird day.I was twenty-six, Caish was twenty-four, we were each dragging an oversized suitcase and burdened with backpacks and other assorted but vital items we hadn’t quite managed to shove into our mother’s car (Nessie was following with the rest of our things).<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/i
Bad Language for Nice Girls (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Dear Friend, I must have a magic power I am unaware of because the people in my life seem to think I don’t swear all that much. And I do. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve built a personal brand so strong it’s like an invisibility cloak. I’m short, blonde, cheerful, chatty… and I wear a lot of rainbow colours. Something about my aura or vibe doesn’t mesh with the idea of a foul-mouthed person, so people censor my words before they enter the ear canal. Fuck becomes oh dear, twat becomes not a very nice
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.