HeyJaredIn an Orchard Soft with Rot
Nonsense and criticism, straight off the branch. Poetry and fiction when I can't help myself.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 2
- Latest publication
- Jul 27, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 3, 2026
Latest issues
Piece o Cake rx (opens the original)
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Am I resisting the free, flourless torte I got in the mail, for no good reason? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like ads, and marketing tactics, are getting longer and longer, more rambling, more desperate. Does anyone else here remember those dog whistles you had to write away for? I remember begging my grandmother to write a check for $3.99, and waiting for months on end, until the little box arrived at our doorstep. I blew that thing for hours and hours, and nothing happened ex
Some species prefer flowing water... (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!YMjV!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa89c8707-4718-4d3d-814b-cfcd582815b5_4032x3024.
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