HeyJaredImperfect Working Order
Survive capitalism in a meatsack that doesn't wanna—and do it luxe. Earn, date, and live well even while seriously sick.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 2
- Latest publication
- Aug 30, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Aug 23, 2026
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Why I seem "plucky" about being hella sick (opens the original)
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Gather round duckies. Sometimes people praise my pluck within the suck. (And I absolutely eat that shit up, why thaaaaank youuuu for noticing my mostly unearned zen.) But I’m not smarter or braver or more regulated (isn’t that what all the kids are craving these days?) than any other gimpette. I’ve just been sick longer. (Probably. Any other lifers here?) The headache started when I was six. It not only didn’t go away; it wrapped around my shoulder, neck, and upper spine over the years. Digestiv
Wait, all my hard nos are actually escape hatches?? (opens the original)
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I’m throwing my possessions into black contractor bags for Neighbor Nicole to beast straight to the trash. All my sheets, towels, rags, all undies, my favorite pajamas, half my socks, most of my clothes, pillows, backpacks, blankets, coats, OUT. Why? A freak accident involving industrial-grade pesticide, old varnish, and one gunked-up A/C perma-permeated every softish item in my apartment with eau du soggy German Shepherd barf (with notes of asiago). The entire laundry aisle won’t wash it out. N
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