HeyJared"I'm sick, *coughs*" with Tish Weinstock
Unhinged ramblings and unsolicited advice from a London based fashion and beauty writer and contributing editor at British Vogue.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 13
- Latest publication
- Sep 27, 2026
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- Jul 6, 2026
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It’s giving rich deep plane horse bitch (opens the original)
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Flashing lights. Sculptural latex. Avant-garde silhouettes. No, this is not a CSM graduate show but Bubble Planet in Wembley. Eschewing London Fashion Week for a family day of something adjacent to fun, we spent hours on Sunday morning writhing around a ball pit, with balls that had been collecting a summer’s worth of dead skin. Yuck. <a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!L8_A!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-pos
15 minutes of blame (opens the original)
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I don’t really have that much to say for myself this week. I kicked things off by pooing in a cup, as part of my endless sidequest for a healthy gut, and rounded it out by grinding on some gays at a random cabaret club, on a night I wasn’t even meant to be out. Two steps forward, one giant leap and some jazz hands back. But at least I didn’t take part in the lock-in.Elsewhere, I hosted a live auction for British Vogue, and have never wanted to cuss so badly. Hello, undiganosed tourettes. I got i
Am I allergic to mung beans? (opens the original)
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Last week i was on an Ayurvedic food cleanse, whereby a woman I have never met - I don’t even know her last name; someone just sent me her number - prepared daily meals for me in her kitchen, which I devoured without question. Delivered every morning at 7 am by her husband, a very nice but quiet man, I dined three times a day, 7 days a week on what can essentially be described as roughage. And quite frankly rough is what it was.Tailored to my Vata energy type - which means a person who likes rou
I am nil by mouth (opens the original)
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There’s no greater feeling than coming back home from a holiday when everyone else is still away. A no man’s land of a week. The dumping ground between two fiefdoms. The post-summer / pre-back-to-school geesh. A time to sober up, starve yourself, and fill your face full of toxins. This is the moment to get a head start on those bloated bitches still sunning themself in Ibiza. A chance to obliterate my roots, flatten my frizz into a paillard and get back on the reformer for a gentle stretch.One m
Will I live to be an elderly eccentric? (opens the original)
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After two weeks in the Hamptons, I’m definitely ready to come home. In my mind, it was going to be this charmingly rural American holiday where we’d go for long tick-free walks, make s’mores on the beach, and play jovial card games at sundown. And then once the kids were asleep, Tom and I would open a bottle of wine, put on a film and, then, I don’t know, maybe sleep together in the same bed and bump uglies. Instead, we are in single sex dorm rooms, where every single night Phoenix tries to slee
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