HeyJaredIf not now, when?
A place birthed from a desire for intimacy that extended beyond what I can touch daily with my body. Dedicated to alchemy, where contradiction is held with love, a space I love to inhabit.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 7
- Latest publication
- Sep 20, 2026
- Audience
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 7, 2026
Latest issues
The Dusty Temple (opens the original)
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It was Saturday, sometime late morning. I’d been up all night dancing; we were at a party somewhere on the Playa, dancing to Techno and eating sushi and popsicles served by smiling, colourful beings.My friend: “Let’s go to the temple. I have some unfinished business there, and I need your support.”We jumped on our furry, dusty bikes and rode into a beautiful, sunny day. The dust had settled after a bit of rain on Thursday night. Riding towards the temple, passing by bikes, random pieces of giant
Did Not Finish, and Other Disappointments (opens the original)
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"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose." ~-Kris Kristofferson, “Me and Bobby McGee”Is not finishing such a bad thing? I was listening to a conversation on the radio about an Australian ultramarathon runner who opted out at 62 km, just past halfway. She did a DNF, did not finish. The question raised was whether quitting was necessary, and how we know when it is time to stop something before its perceived due date.We live in a goal-driven society, and it is important to set goals.
Love is expensive when we can’t metabolise our sadness. (opens the original)
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Love is expensive when we can’t metabolise our sadness.Society teaches us to be positive, happy, good company. Sad people are often seen as a burden; a weight, a heaviness, something we would rather not sit beside. And yes, sadness can become stuck, and at that point it hardens into something like depression, a weight that presses on the people around us. But sadness, when it flows, helps us let go. It moves energy out.I have spent my lifetime rejecting my sadness. Hiding my face. Swallowing my
Sitting down for breakfast (opens the original)
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I recall my friend Yona sharing her morning routine: “I get ready, then make some breakfast. I have a moment with Ilan, and then that’s it, off into the day.” That small story stayed etched in my mind. There is a simple, felt intimacy in sitting down for breakfast with a child on the verge of becoming an adult, a brief moment before they leave home; like all other moments, it will never be again.Sitting today with my son Jasper, the last one left in the nest, I feel my priorities rearranging. I
An inside job (opens the original)
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Sitting at the desk, signing in for Sunday church class, first class back after 2 weeks away. Teaching a retreat in Koh Samui followed by some travel; a beach in Koh Phangan and the wild chaos of Bangkok.Student: I love your red nails, she said, looking at my hands, typing her name to sign her in.Thanks for reading If not now, when? ! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.<input class="email-input" name="email" tabinde
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