HeyJaredHow We Help
A short weekly note exploring the art, science, and philosophy of helping relationships, by a philosopher/psychotherapist
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 13
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- Sep 28, 2026
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- Jul 6, 2026
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Investigate the Caesura! A note on Bion (opens the original)
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There is much more continuity between the intra-uterine life and earliest infancy than the impressive caesura of the act of birth allows us to believe. – Sigmund Freud, Symptoms and Anxiety This is the first of several epigraphs with which the psychoanalyst Wilfred Bion introduces his classic paper, Caesura. ‘Caesura’ comes from the Latin caedere, meaning “to cut;” it is defined as a break, pause, rest, or stop in the middle of a line of poetry or music. Freud and Bion extend its meaning t
Autumn Day (opens the original)
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Regular readers will know that I encourage observing the equinoxes and solstices. This year the autumnal equinox falls on Tuesday September 22nd. In celebration of this time of harvest and of acceptance, here’s a poem for the season by the great Rainer Maria Rilke, translated by Stephen Mitchell. It captures the poignancy of the season, and this season of life. On the one hand, we’re in a position to gather and share the fruits of our life and labors. On the other hand, whatever we haven’
Earning the Authority to Accompany (opens the original)
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AI chatbots are becoming more prominent in the therapeutic space. Polling numbers vary, but it’s estimated that in the past year 1 in 6 adults in the US have turned to AIs for information and counsel on mental health issues. Among adolescents and young adults the number is higher, at least 1 in 5. These numbers will increase dramatically in the next few years.Which raises the interesting question: What can a human therapist (or friend or partner) offer that an AI chatbot cannot? Much is being wr
Stuck with Him (opens the original)
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Note: here as in all my writing I have obscured identifying details in order to protect patients’ anonymity.We’ve all felt stuck at one time or another. Stuck in a job. Stuck in a marriage or partnership. Stuck in an addiction. Stuck in a way of thinking, behaving, or feeling. Stuck in our grievances and delusions. Stuck in our view of our self. Many in therapy describe feeling stuck. Some are able to free themselves in a few months or a year. For others struggling with severe trauma, addictions
Trying to Outrun It: About Manic Defenses (opens the original)
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Achievement is achievement, but what motivates us can be diverse. Ideally, we’re motivated by intrinsic interest and the satisfactions of doing good work. In Aristotle’s ethics, this is the virtuous life; in the terms of modern psychology, we might call it the life led by someone securely attached, with a growth mindset that drives their development and achievements.For many high achievers, however, this ideal doesn’t adequately describe what motivates them. While factors like interest and the p
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