HeyJaredHow to Create the Best & Survive the Worst
Sharing the untraditional ways I’m creating a life worth living after loss.
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- Sep 22, 2026
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- Jul 7, 2026
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I’m becoming more me but my life is falling apart as I do it (opens the original)
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The last few months felt like an ocean. Deep, constantly shifting and utterly incomprehensible. I am in a process of becoming more me, again. In Buddhism, we learn that life is a never-ending process of uncovering your truest nature. There are moments of uncovering that happen slow and sweet like honey, and others that feel like the roof getting ripped off during a hurricane.I’m in the second category.When I am undergoing a period of profound transformation inside, my outer life tends to fall ap
How to honor the anniversary of your loved one’s death (opens the original)
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This essay was originally published on August 18, 2025. I’ve made minor edits to reflect the passage of another year.<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="1941" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!VSQS!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,
I'm almost 40 and have no plan for my life (opens the original)
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I have become and unbecome so many versions of myself; it’s hard to remember some of them.I’m 37 years old, and I feel like I’m standing at the threshold between who I was and who I’m becoming, meeting myself for the first time. I spent the greater portion of the last decade in survival mode. In a span of four years, I experienced the back-to-back deaths of two friends, my sister, and my Dad. It felt like being on a rollercoaster with faulty hardware. I could not catch my breath. It was my “dark
How to answer when someone asks "what do you need?" (opens the original)
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This question used to haunt me.In the wake of my sister’s death, the question “what do you need?” piled up like letters to the wrong address. There were days I could not feel my body. There were days I did not know who I was. Answering a question about my needs felt like an impossible task. Years went by, and I regained enough consciousness to think critically about what my needs actually were. I decided to create a care guide for my chosen friends and family — a document that laid out ways to s
A gentle reminder to stop forecasting failure before you've even tried (opens the original)
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Lately I’ve noticed that when I want something, I start focusing on the obstacles before I even plan the route.This is the scarcity mindset. The fear of never-enough, not possible, not ever. It limits my imagination and blocks me from seeing possibilities. It takes the pen out of my hand and starts writing a story about how I end up disappointed. The moment a desire begins to emerge, I start to grieve the experience of wanting and never having it.And it’s not helpful. When this happens, I have t
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