HeyJaredHoofbeats and Embers
Finding the glimmers in the fire. Sharing the fierce truths of life & motherhood whilst living with stage 4 cancer alongside my healing practices of mindfulness and the medicine of horses, nature and outdoor swimming.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Jul 6, 2026
Latest issues
The Cancer Ward (opens the original)
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I am homeSo happy to be in my own bedIt will take time to move on from the last 21 daysThe Cancer Ward is a hard place to beFull of people doing everything they need to stay aliveExisting in so much painYet fighting, driven by the deep human needTo keep living no matter the costThen there's someWho choose not to treatTo accept what is to comeKnowing the path will run out very soonWithout interventionSometimes I wish I could feel this wayJust allow the darkness to swallow meSwim in the peace of
Not the summer I planned (opens the original)
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So our summer holiday didn't quite go to plan and to say I am devastated is a slight understatement. I had a procedure on 13th August to remove my port-a-cath, it sits under the skin and chemo can be given through it and blood taken. My veins aren't great and with such regular treatment it was the best option, and it has done me well for over 3 years. Unfortunately I got an infection by it and so they had to remove it. The procedure did not go to plan, they refused to sedate me and soon regrette
This Cancer Life (opens the original)
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Dartmoor and the ponies were my saving again today. When overwhelm and anxiety hits there is nothing like ponies and nature to bring me back down to earth, to help me ground and breath.<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="2586" src="https://substa
Shadow (opens the original)
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I live with a shadow Sometimes it darkensHeavy and blackSometimes it fadesA lighter grey, but Never quite sees enough lightTo dissappear entirely <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="768" src="https://substackcdn.com/ima
Having a moment (opens the original)
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I question some of the thoughts that gather in my mind at times. I can only blame it on the consequences of living with a terminal diagnosis hanging over my head. Yesterday I had one of those surreal moments. I went to check on Grace last night, she insists I go and see her again 10 minutes after saying goodnight and settling down, which of course I always do. She was already fast asleep, obviously shattered following her gymnastics competition and the physical and mental toll it took. Rather th
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