HeyJaredHit Me Baby One More Time
"The potential you see in other people isn't real. It is the projection of what you would do in their position."
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 16
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Aug 28, 2026
Latest issues
Are They Trauma Bonded to You Too? (opens the original)
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In this episode, I'm answering a question I get asked constantly: are they trauma bonded to me too? People ask this when the person who hurt them starts falling apart after a breakup or after being told no. The panic, the pleading, the sudden self-awareness. It can look like proof that the relationship was mutual, that maybe both people were caught in the same storm.I will work through what is happening and how it looks the same as attachment, dependency, or the panic that comes from losing acce
When was the last time your relationship felt like something you were living inside of rather than something you were getting through? (opens the original)
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When was the last time your relationship felt like something you were living inside of rather than something you were getting through?If you had to stop and think about it, you have your answer. I want to talk about what happens when survival mode stops being a temporary response to a hard stretch and becomes the architecture of the entire relationship. A lot of the time you do not realize you are in survival mode, because at some point you stopped calling it a rough patch. You start saying that
When Leaving Isn’t the Hard Part (opens the original)
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There is a moment I see in nearly every client I work with, and it is the moment that gets the least attention in conversations about abuse. It is not the moment they finally leave. It is not the moment they realize what was happening to them. It is the moment after all of that — when they already know, when they have already created some distance, when they are not technically in it anymore — and they are still stuck.To keep confidentiality, I will call this client Sarah. Sarah had been out of
The Lying Isn't an Accident: A Conversation with Anne Blythe from BTR.org (opens the original)
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This week I'm joined by Anne Blythe, founder of BTR.org (Betrayal Trauma Recovery), an organization that has supported over 9,000 women navigating a partner's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, and manipulation. Anne shares her own story of spending seven years and seven therapists trying to understand what was happening in her marriage, and what finally helped her see the truth.We talk about why couples therapy so often fails women dealing with a partner who lies, why the search for a diagnosis (n
The things I did to heal my trauma bond (opens the original)
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This is a list of things (in no particular order of timing, or order of importance) that I did when I was healing my trauma bond. People ask me this question all of the time and there is no right answer. Read more
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