HeyJaredhere comes the sun
an ethical peek at my journal and inside of my mind. my space to house my musings about my lived experiences and bipolar disorder.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 4
- Latest publication
- Sep 17, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 8, 2026
Latest issues
What anhedonia steals from me. (opens the original)
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There are some seasons when the depression I experience is something much deeper called Anhedonia. It is an inability to experience pleasure or enjoyment in activities that used to bring you joy. Medically, it is a diminished ability to experience pleasure, interest, motivation, or reward, and it can occur with depression but isn't synonymous with depression. It can affect you both socially and physically. Things like going to brunch with your favorite girls or a night out for Jazz in The Garden
Shame doesn't belong here. (opens the original)
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I’ve been depressed more often than not this year. After a couple of years of mental stability, I forgot what it felt like to be back at my baseline of depression. Not the deep, sorrowful depression that leads me to ideating and dissociation. But the quiet, melancholic depression cloud that lingers around and makes it hard to do anything but the basic necessities of existing. This week, I feel annoyed at how much guilt and shame have tried to engulf me for various reasons.It’s been hard, or near
Some endings don't get goodbyes. (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="965" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!qRTR!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F60c28185-87dd-4fbb-a92a-9949861dfec0_1456x965.web
Sex at the function. (opens the original)
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Content Warning: In the following essay, I am recreating journal entries where I discuss being in a state of depression that sent me into what I now know was a hypermanic episode that included having sex at a party. I won’t be offended if you skip this one. <div
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