HeyJaredHelltorium
A forensic and literary audit of Montague Druitt (1857-1888). Analyzing the 72-hour burial timeline, 1888 and the physiology of the 'Long Witness.' A blend of prose, poetry, and criminological research into a stolen legacy.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 16
- Latest publication
- Sep 27, 2026
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- Earliest in this view
- Aug 15, 2026
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Eat before it bores ya (opens the original)
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It was a well-documented law of survival in Shplenderghast that if a piece of food looked too pristine, symmetrical, and utterly perfect, it was almost certainly dangerous. A truly wise citizen looked for the honest flaws: a thumb-print in the crust, an accidental lump in the gravy, or a reassuringly uneven char. To purchase a pastry that exhibited no structural vulnerability was to invite an existential crisis into one's digestive tract, or worse, to engage in a battle of wits with an item that
The Dinner Guest Who Won’t Leave (opens the original)
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Back, I tell you all! This man belongs to me! Beware how you meddle with him, or you'll have to deal with me.— Bram Stoker, Dracula (Chapter 3)I cried. I called to God. I didn't want this. But I have a capacity for enduring. That's why I don't particularly like being abandoned.— Lestat de Lioncourt, Interview with the Vampire (AMC, Season 1)Have you read Dracula or The Vampire Chronicles, mon cher? Of course you have. Then tell me, what does Dracula really want? And, consequently, what is so spe
Loving the barrister (opens the original)
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Yeah Let's face it. I'm in love with a dead guy.Y'all heard it right. The guy's been on the other side since 1888, but lemme tell y'all, he's more alive than a good crowd o'men I met over the years, and I gotta feeling he'll be that even when I'm done talking about him in years and I'm so not gonna shut up.They say it's all right for a biographer. They say it's even alright for a historian, chasing your subject cross time, mimickin them - but I'm not doin it. We're simply very alike, and that's
Bourbon street (opens the original)
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Caught in the Undercurrent: The Sensual Power of the Frayed Voice (opens the original)
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We have all experienced that exact moment when a song is moving along perfectly smoothly, and then, out of nowhere, a voice cracks, drops, or catches on something raw. It isn’t clean, and it isn't polished. In fact, it sounds slightly parched, a little weathered, like a midnight confession. Yet, it passes right through your intellectual defenses and hits a deeply visceral nerve.Most people listen to music passively; they follow the catchy chorus or the steady rhythm, and these fragile, dangerous
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