HeyJaredGrief Positive
I’m Karen Kelly. I’m a mother, a writer, and someone learning how to live and communicate after the death of my beloved son, Bix. Afterward, I didn’t collapse. My heart cracked open. It's been a wild ride ever since. Join me.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 13
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- Sep 29, 2026
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- Aug 11, 2026
Latest issues
Go Somewhere Your Grief Has Never Been (opens the original)
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Grief can make the world feel small and insular. That’s been my experience, anyway. Sometimes I’ve needed to physically leave the landscape where I’ve been grieving to discover that I’m still capable of experiencing new things, thinking differently, meeting new people, and learning about places I’ve never been to. I’ve been on numerous retreats over the last 30 years, including a zendo on Beecher Lake in upstate New York and Kripalu in the Berkshires of Massachusetts. I’ve been to Omega and pers
I Forgot the Day My Son Died (opens the original)
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My heart was racing. I was driving home from the dentist. The appointment had run longer than I expected because they did a little extra work after my cleaning. I had a 1:00 phone call, and I was going to be late. But I also had something else on my mind: the anniversary of my son Bix’s death. It will be four years on Friday. But I had it in my head that the anniversary was the next day, today. The date of my son’s death? I got it wrong. Something happens to our bodies with overwhelming trauma a
I Don’t Mind What Happens (opens the original)
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Jiddu Krishnamurti, one of my newest BFFs who’s no longer around, had a famous saying: “I don’t mind what happens.”This is the core principle of freeing ourselves from clinging to how we think things ought to be instead of accepting and working with how things actually are. I write about this often on this Substack. The basic cause of all human suffering, including grief, which can, but does not have to, be a form of suffering, is clinging to how we think things ought to be instead of accepting
The Most Beautiful Day in New York City (opens the original)
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There will be many essays about 9/11 today. They’re probably already out. Everybody has their own memories. As do I.I was living in downtown Brooklyn in 2001. We didn’t have Bix yet. He was born in 2007, but 9/11 was a catalyst in so many ways that I’m just beginning to understand now, because it means something different to me than it did 25 years ago. Including the desire to have a little one, a child.<a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hi
The Problem With Getting What You Think You Want (opens the original)
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Catastrophic loss teaches us that getting what we think we want can turn out quite differently than we imagined, and in ways that can be challenging or difficult. I wanted a child, and I got what I wanted. An amazingly bright, adorable, fun-loving, smart, beautiful little human being who grew into a likewise incredible teenager. Wanting a child is a natural inclination for many millions of people on earth. There’s nothing wrong about it and pretty much everything right about wanting one (if you
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