HeyJaredGoatfury Writes
I want to give you something interesting to think about every single day.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 22
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Sep 9, 2026
Latest issues
No rAgrets (opens the original)
Read excerpt
You know the tattoo I’m talking about. <img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="347" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!fqoE!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2
Remy XO (opens the original)
Read excerpt
When I was Young Andrew, New Year’s Eve was always special. First off, there was the real opportunity to stay up past midnight! This was rare and exciting. Cool things happened after little kids went to sleep, and I wanted to know what those things were. There was the turning over of the year: an opportunity to look both forward and back. I embraced all of this and dove in. I would draw an official poster for the end of the year from about 1986 through 1992, give or take, with colossal block num
Dad Jokes (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Here’s a simple question: who’s the intended audience of a dad joke? If you’re a standup comic at a show, the answer is clear: it’s the crowd you’re telling jokes to. This doesn’t help us much since there’s seldom a crowd whenever a dad joke arises. Maybe your answer is that obviously, you’re trying to get the other person to laugh. That means they’re your target audience. I think this can be part of the fun, to be sure. But if the person doesn’t laugh at your dad joke, is that better or worse?
Bubble Gum Butts (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Go to Riverbanks Zoo in Columbia, SC, and you’ll see a wide variety of animals in habitats designed to mimic the natural homes of these majestic beasts. I’m not a tremendous fan of visiting zoos—they seem a bit more like prisons than places to learn about animals, but I also don’t want to discount how they can help you build empathy. Suffice it to say, however: Young Andrew hadn’t thought that deeply about any of this by, say, middle school. He was happy to buy a lemonade and some popcorn as a t
No-Talent Ass-Clown? (opens the original)
Read excerpt
Michael Bolton famously does not appreciate Michael Bolton. When Michael explains this to Samir, Samir asks him why he doesn’t just go by Mike. David Herman (the actor) gets one of the great iconic lines in the film: Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks. During the interview with the Bobs, he’s confronted with something even worse. Bob Slydell apparently celebrates his entire catalog. Because this is an interview to keep his job, Michael pretends to like Michael Bolton’s music. He instant
Publishing over time
Last 90 days. Choose a month to open its work.
Recurring subjects
Named in the text we hold. One piece can cover several.
Audience
No verified audience measurement yet.
About this data
Counts cover the work we have indexed. Tone needs enough text and a confident classification. Excerpts and episode notes are not full articles or transcripts.
Identity or attribution wrong? Suggest a correction.