HeyJaredFunke Egbemode
- Indexed articles, last 90 days
- 11
- Latest publication
- Sep 30, 2026
- Outlet visibility, for Punch Nigeria
- Top 10K sites
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 8, 2026
Latest articles
Seyi Makinde deserves a hug (opens the original)
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Sometimes, governance is not about making the loudest noise. It is about seeing a problem, thinking around it and solving it. Take what Seyi Makinde has done with the new Ibadan bypass. You are coming from Lagos on the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway. Instead of entering the belly of Ibadan to wrestle with traffic, heat, impatient ‘Micra’ drivers and the familiar Nigerian symphony of horns, you simply veer off. Then—breeze, awesome breeze caressing your face. You are moving, not spending what feels like
Before you enlarge, lift or tuck it (opens the original)
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Men, why do they let women push them so? Her backside cannot be used to play badminton. Ah, what am I going to do with you guys? When vanity books an appointment with the surgeon, Death sometimes gets invited too. Another death has occurred because someone or many someones goaded and pushed a man to increase the length and breadth of his thing, via surgery, from thumb size to plantain size. Oh lordy! Seriously, there are some things in life that should come with a warning: Buying a red dress? Th
Why does a politician’s joy never last till evening? (opens the original)
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“Inú olósèlú kì í dùn d’álé” (a politician’s joy does not endure till evening). An observer of our politics told me this yesterday. I heard it, and something skipped in my heart. It got me quiet throughout the day. The result is this long thought on politics and the profiles of Nigerian politicians. Politics has the sneaky betrayal of the adder plus its lethal poison. And because a snake’s offspring must be long, this long thing you are reading is about the impermanence of political happiness,
Why does a politician’s joy never last till evening? (opens the original)
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Inú olósèlú kì í dùn d’ále´” (a politician’s joy does not endure till evening). An observer of our politics told me this yesterday. I heard it, and something skipped in my heart. It got me quiet throughout the day. The result is this long thought on politics and the profiles of Nigerian politicians. Politics has the sneaky betrayal of the adder plus its lethal poison. And because a snake’s offspring must be long, this long thing you are reading is about the impermanence of political happiness, t
Nigeria’s no condom politics (opens the original)
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HE liked two-somes. Yeah, two women at a time, all night. His appetite was legendary. Wild appetite, wild ways. His tongue was razor-sharp for a man too, worse than the late Sisi Quadri’s tongue in a sleep mode. Fola could get it up anytime, even when he was just retrieving his third leg from in between the thighs of another woman. Maybe the more appropriate question is: how did Lilly fall for a man like Fola? So hard, she got pregnant for Fola while they were both still in the university. Fola
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For Punch Nigeria, the outlet · Measured Aug 1, 2026
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