HeyJaredFreak Palace
A weekly catalog of what I’m wearing, buying and lusting after.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 12
- Latest publication
- Sep 27, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Jul 5, 2026
Latest issues
What I Can't Live Without: September 2026 (opens the original)
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I am feeling exhausted, crabby and reclusive lately. September is festival season in Toronto, for those unaware, and I’ve been operating at maximum capacity for four weeks straight. It kicked off with the Cabbagetown Festival, where my favourite neighbourhood turns into a massive garage sale for a weekend. It’s like Christmas for me—I wake up early and spend the rest of the day pawing through other people’s junk, which sometimes includes freaky shit like an old computer keyboard with colourful b
Hating Polyester is Not a Personality (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="816" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!_d5p!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3529af8f-1e83-497d-961d-0c978edd2e6e_1060x816.png"
The Best Time I Rejected Minimalism (opens the original)
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The thing about being a freelancer for most of your career is that you will write for websites, and one day they will cease to exist. One of these websites was The Hairpin, the epitome of a fun, lo-fi blog that would publish just about anything as long as it was written by a really good writer. It folded in 2018 and I didn’t think about it too much more until one day, the song “Your Woman” by White Town came onto my shuffle and I wondered, What’s the deal with this song and what’s this guy up to
What I Can't Live Without: August 2026 (opens the original)
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<img alt="" class="sizing-normal" height="744" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!uGY_!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb44633ba-d3c0-4315-9dbc-8025dd143734_1370x744.png"
I’m in Shoe Shopping Hell (opens the original)
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A few months ago, a vortex opened up within me and my inner voice began shouting that I needed to own a pair of extremely evil-looking shoes. By evil, I mean straight up Disney villain shit. Black kitten heel slingbacks with viciously pointed toes and silver hardware—the kind of shoes that, when paired with a skintight leather jacket and red lipstick, have the power to make people wet themselves in fear.Subscribe nowIncidentally, I’ve spent the last five years of my life dedicated to <a href="ht
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