HeyJaredExtremely Reliable Narrator
musings of a caterpillar trapped inside the brain of a perpetually teenaged girl.
- Indexed issues, last 90 days
- 6
- Latest publication
- Sep 21, 2026
- Audience
- Checking…
- Earliest in this view
- Aug 8, 2026
Latest issues
one passage from every journal entry i’ve written in the past 30 days (opens the original)
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*= writing about a dream I had August 23*The girls, my sorority sisters, cross the street and I hear H tell B, “Oh, they’re going to leave her.” I turned back to them and played it cool like I wasn’t hurt. I was stating all the reasons it was actually good that I got left behind. August 27Right now my priority is savoring any joy. There is a Savannah Brown quote I’ve been thinking about that goes something like “when I’m focused on trauma, the whole world is traumaworld. When I’m focused on plea
to think i had once wished for death (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedtw// death, suicidal ideation, hospitals 08.29.26 upon collision, spirit sets sail the mind aloft and breezy spiraling through endless time mem'ries flood back so easy and would you remember a weekday shift? the girl, pedantic and surly the same old score, "oh please, no more" you'd take no note, surely and begging, sour, selfish girl, who'd toss it out no question its such a shame, shes not to blame it's loneliness-- depres
freezer bride (opens the original)
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Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedrunaway girl, missing child just beginning the age of adolescence skin fuzzy like a summer ripe peach iced over fingernails painted hypothermia blue does she taste good on your lips? like cola flavored lip balm? do her fingernails claw your esophagus on the way down? does she cut you up from the inside out? will you miss her once she's gone for good? when theres not a morsel left of her? summer child, sacrificial lamb freeze
the worst date i have ever been on (opens the original)
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I started writing a post about how I felt that I didn’t have any life experience/ felt as if nothing really interesting had ever happened to me. I was going on a rant about how I didn’t have any interesting dating stories or sexcapades to talk about. I am no Carrie Bradshaw like the other girls on Substack. And then I remembered, oh yes. I have an interesting story to tell. How could I forget! In the autumn of 2025, I was trying to reenter the dating scene after recovering from a life-shaking br
some july vignettes (opens the original)
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July 3, 2026I was messaging a friend earlier about how I seem to be more creative when I am depressed. It’s not that I have more ideas or anything like that. It’s an odd shift where my mind starts working in Jane Austen mode and I am constantly unconsciously thinking up little lines of beautiful prose. This is quite counterproductive because I don’t have the energy to shower, let alone do anything with these snippets that my mind is weaving. Even this opening paragraph was written mostly in my h
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